Amber Lights
by Niqsta
Summary: SquallxRinoa. It's the uncertainty of waiting on amber lights that made choosing the right decision so difficult. Can the chance to fix every error outweigh the knowledge behind hasty decisions? Or will revealing the truth tear them further apart?Postgame
1. For better, for worse

_"We can't believe in others, when we can't believe in ourselves." - Castles in the Sky._

_For Ashbear, here's to__ ten years of 'goofy' stories._

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><p><strong>Amber Lights<strong>

**Squall and Rinoa - it's the uncertainty of waiting on amber lights that makes choosing the right decision so difficult. In one crucial moment, one chooses to see the lights turn red, while the other sees green. Given another chance, will the right decision be made, or is history bound to repeat itself?**

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><p><strong>Chapter One - For better, for worse.<strong>

Imagine yourself waiting at a set of traffic lights. You look up and see the lights have turned amber, but you are unsure of what colour they'll turn next. You wait there, feeling apprehensive, scared, and unsure whether to make a move. The people around you go on ahead, some hold back, patient with an air of comprehension. They all possess the knowledge you don't, comprehend the system, and are able to make sound judgements. But you wait there, undecided and fearful of taking the wrong step.

Do you stay or go? Your mind is at a crossroads, haywires of indecisive thoughts. You don't know the right answer and feel uncomfortable asking for help. You open your mouth and utter the words - they'll know you're weak.

So you stand there, looking up with uncertainty, waiting on amber lights. You may stand there for a while before you get an indication to go ahead or turn back. You despise the orange glow penetrating and encircling you with uncertainty and confusion. For you, things are never simple, and never an easy decision to make.

That is the biggest hurdle. The ambiguity of the right choice. The insecurities incorporated into making the wrong move. You can choose to go on, but could ultimately destroy everything. Or you can hold back, but forever live to regret.

There you remain, feeling hopeless and insecure. And at last when you're about to give up, you feel someone take your hand, smile at you, and guide you along the way.

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><p><em>Squall remained seated on the brown leather sofa, half angry and half hurt. Was she bluffing? It was like her to overreact, but not to this level. She had cried, but then again, she had cried before. <em>

_He wanted to get up and give in, but if she was bluffing, he'd look weak. She'd come round anyway. She'd know she made a stupid rash decision and ask for his forgiveness. She had done it plenty of times before, it was in her nature to ask personal questions, make hasty decisions and then repent at leisure. But even so, Squall had a sick feeling in his gut that something about this situation was different._

_As if on cue, Zell barged into his apartment, shock and worry written all over his face as he pointed to the now half open door. _

"_She's leaving," he stated in a panicked tone of disbelief._

_Squall couldn't even look at him, turning his head to the blank screen of their TV set. He knew he had to make a choice now, either get off his proud mercenary butt and go after her, or remain where he was and wait for her to return._

_So naturally, the Commander did what he thought was right; folded his legs and picked up his file._

"_I know," he finally replied._

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><p>"What do you mean <em>phase two<em>!" Squall Leonhart shouted down the end of the receiver. "I've already gone through the counselling phase!"

"_Commander Leonhart, _I _am well aware of that fact. But as _you _are well aware, your marriage was under an Estharian-"_

"Estharian law. I understand," Squall irritably concluded.

"_Yes, and since it was under Estharian law, you must go through the proper Estharian divorce procedures," _Mr Stiles reiterated for the tenth time.

"I don't understand why the Judge doesn't accept the situation and hand over the divorce papers," Squall replied with frustration. He had a good mind to go down to the Estharian Court and give that guy a good reconciliation.

"_The Judge has said, until you both go through a physical reconciliation process, he cannot issue the papers. I am sorry Commander Leonhart, but I am merely the messenger," _Mr Stiles's unnerved tone replied back.

Squall released a frustrated grunt as he realised his predicament. Physical reconciliation meant one thing; seeing _her_ again. The last time he had seen her was over a year ago, he wasn't sure if he could he could do it. Hating her when she was absent was easy. But doing it in her presence was a whole different story. He felt like swearing, punching something, or at least wrecking havoc on a pack of Grats in the Training Centre.

"_So, shall I go ahead and get the procedures sorted out?" _Mr Stiles asked wistfully.

"Well, I don't have any other choice, do I?" Squall angrily replied, slamming the receiver down and letting out a low grunt. It seemed the Commander's bestial etiquettes went hand in hand with his unpleasant moods.

He breathed evenly, inhaling through his nose and releasing through his mouth, trying to calm himself and rid his impending hate-filled thoughts. But suffice to say, this little predicament was taking up a lot of his time, and now it seemed it was going to take up even more. Whose bloody idea was it to get married in Esthar anyway? It was completely simple in Balamb; you want to get married, get married. You want to get divorced, get divorced. None of this bull of counselling and then physical reconciliation, whatever the hell that meant.

What's more, he had a good mind to show Mr Stiles some reconciliation with his gunblade. The damn lawyer was supposed to be on his side! But the bloodsucking prick was actually going ahead with this whole extravaganza. Anything to increase his pay.

Pushing himself off his computer chair, Squall picked up his gunblade and headed out of his office. A good few solid hours in the Training Centre should relieve his anguish and prevent him from thinking about her too much.

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><p>"<em>Take care of yourself, Squall," Rinoa barely uttered, before pulling her luggage out of their apartment and closing the door shut.<em>

_Taking in a deep breath, she walked determinedly down the Garden dormitory hall towards the lobby. Keeping her head held high, she was very glad that no other students were lurking about to witness her departure. Or so she had thought._

_Just her luck, Quistis was heading in her direction, files in hand along with what looked like a pink box of Rinoa's favourite donuts. The Instructor spotted the Sorceress straight away, giving her a cheeky grin and holding up the boxed treats. It instantly brought fresh tears to the Sorceress's eyes and the pill like form in her throat hardened._

_Quistis's face contorted to a frown, confused as to why her friend was crying. Her eyes fell down to what the young Sorceress was pulling along behind her, and her stomach immediately flipped over._

"_Rinoa?" Quistis could only say when she finally reached the other girl. The look on her face was fairly evident that she wanted an explanation as to why her friend had her bags packed._

"_I can't do this anymore, Quistis," Rinoa eventually managed an audible reply preventing a sob. "I need to get out of here and clear my head."_

"_Honey, you don't need to leave, let's talk to him," she tried suggesting, putting a comforting arm over the other girl's shoulder._

_Accepting the hug, Rinoa let a few tears escape before replying, "No Quistis, I'm done talking, and nothing will change what's already happened."_

_Breaking away, Quistis looked at Rinoa, worried and feeling completely unhelpful. This wasn't a normal relationship problem, and the Instructor knew that without them communicating, there wasn't a way to salvage their relationship. The communication between them had lessened over the year, and over recent months with Squall immersed in Garden work, it had practically deteriorated, resulting with matters he was barely aware of._

_As if sensing what Quistis was thinking about, Rinoa's teary eyes welled up even more. Biting her bottom lip, she held Quistis's hand tightly, looking at her pleadingly before letting out a small whimper._

"_Please, don't tell him," she begged._

_Quistis nodded straight away, pulling Rinoa into a hug and blinking away the tears in her own eyes. There was absolutely nothing she could do apart from being there for her two friends. Rinoa was correct, there was nothing to change the circumstance, Ellone had already taught them that the past couldn't be changed. Hence, it was all the Instructor could do to hold Rinoa in her arms and try and be as supportive as she could._

"_Whenever you need me, call, okay? I have enough holiday time saved up if ever you need me," Quistis determinedly quipped, tightening the hold she had on the other girl as if she'd disappear right there._

"_Oi! Get a room!" _

_It didn't take a genius to guess who that was. As Rinoa broke away from the hug, quickly wiping her eyes of her tears, she could see Irvine, Selphie and Zell walking toward their direction. She wiped her cheeks as vigorously as she could, but her puffy red eyes were a dead give away, not to mention the black and pink luggage hiding idly behind her._

"_Hey guys," Rinoa chirpily called out as they approached closer. Her hopes of them not noticing her sore eyes were to nought as all eyes fell on the luggage and returned to her questioningly._

"_You and Squall going away?" Irvine asked accusingly._

_Lowering her head in shame, Rinoa shook her head negatively. As if Squall had time for that anymore. It seemed the only going away Squall ever seemed to be up for was missions, missions and even more missions. The last time they had been away was one weekend in which she had begged him for. And even then, it was only down to the Balamb Hotel, conveniently for him._

"_I'm going to Timber," Rinoa answered in a whisper._

_Zell didn't even bother to hear the rest, running towards Squall's apartment in haste. The other two stood for a second processing what Rinoa was saying, unsure if what they were thinking was in conjunction to the situation at hand._

"_Lovers' tiff," Irvine jokingly scoffed. "C'mon, let's go talk to Squall."_

_Taking Rinoa's luggage out of her hand, he began to pull her towards the opposite direction._

"_No, Irvine, just let me go," she replied, pulling away._

"_Rinoa, come on!" Irvine laughingly persisted. "Don't be silly."_

"_Irvine, just give me my case," Rinoa demanded, freeing herself from his grasp and holding her hand out for the luggage._

"_Rin-"_

"_Just give me the damn case!" She shouted, before raising her hands to her mouth and whimpering. She didn't mean to shout at them, it wasn't their fault, they were just trying to help; play happy families. No one could understand her hurt, no one except Quistis, so it was no wonder why they were all pushing her to make amends._

_Letting go of her case, Irvine stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her and apologising. Selphie stood next to them, her arm on Rinoa's and her face pallid with fear; her eyes filled with panicked tears, unsure of what was happening, or why her friend was leaving._

"_I'll call you guys when I get there," Rinoa replied, sniffing hard and clearing her throat._

_Then without another word, she took hold of the handle to her luggage and rolled it towards the lobby. Giving one quick glance at Quistis, she saw the blonde nod at her in understanding, before turning back and walking away._

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><p>The rain had been pouring constantly for four hours and didn't at all seem like it was going to stop. The bus stand opposite Rinoa's window was sloped down toward a dip in the road, and she could now see the accumulated water reaching its brink before it would inevitably spill over onto the pavement. She hoped no one would stand at the bus stop, in fear of a bus approaching and splashing all that dirty rainwater all over them.<p>

She'd forgotten about Timber's rainy season, though it was perfect for her current mood - in fact, perfect for her mood that had remained constant since she had arrived - she could predict that the amount of tears that she had shed still hadn't equated to the amount of rain Timber had seen.

A year on and still her eyes remained moist. She had thought that with time she'd eventually get over it, but the reoccurring scenes in her head felt as fresh as if they took place yesterday. She couldn't believe how fast the year had gone, yet how slowly her heart was mending itself - if it was mending itself.

There was nothing she could do at this point, except sit in her lounge, looking out onto the grey dismal Timber streets, wondering what her friends were doing in Balamb. It pained her to think of them, even more so because of the way she had left. She didn't mean to be so unwilling, but they didn't know she was a lost cause. They just wanted to fix the problem, only they failed to see that there was no possible solution.

She wondered if they were angry with her. When she had first arrived she waited a whole month before calling them. At first it was awkward, they kept mentioning him, and asking when she'd get back. Soon the calls were less frequent, though she couldn't say the same for Quistis. That blonde bombshell was harder to discourage and had called her constantly throughout her year in Timber. She smiled at the perseverance of her friend.

But it wasn't surprising in the least, that once the divorce lawyers had been appointed, they're fears were heightened even more. They questioned constantly, pleaded for a second chance and begged for her return. Each and every single one of them. Except him.

She shook her head not wanting to think of him. But try as might, she couldn't get Squall out of her mind let alone her heart. She questioned her motives many times, were they reasonable? Her actions were always under scrutiny, was she too rash and hasty? It seemed that the irresponsible girl she was insistent on leaving behind, had actually followed her into this hole.

Depressingly, her thoughts lingered on one huge aspect. He didn't care for her as much as she deluded herself into thinking. He didn't love her as much as she had hoped he did. Maybe he had at the beginning, but that was definitely a time in the past. Five years had changed the dynamics of their relationship. Something which she had seen coming, but could not prevent. Since her move to Timber, not once had he called, not that she should have expected as much since he hadn't even come after her.

Looking above at the grey rain clouds, Rinoa could only let out sighs of regrets. How she had gotten herself into this mess was beyond her understanding. There absolutely was no way she could see a way out of it. A way to fix their dysfunctional problems that she had played a major part in.

The phone sitting on her coffee table began to ring, a noise which she felt like ignoring. Days like this, all the Sorceress wanted to do was sit and reflect on the similarities between her mood and the weather. But the ringing persisted and the young Sorceress soon found herself walking over to the phone, albeit begrudgingly, and picking it up.

"Hello," she weakly spoke a tired greeting.

"_Mrs Leonhart?"_ The woman at the other end of the phone enquired.

It pained her every time to hear that name, to see the name every time a payslip or bank statement came through the post. Never had she imagined that the same name she once took pride and excitement in, would once be such a painful sight. But in some bizarre sense of hope her reply was comforting.

"Yes," she answered.

"_It's Caroline Chambers," _the woman's cheerful voice pitched back. _"I have some updates regarding your husband."_

"Uh-huh," Rinoa continued with her one word answers, quite frankly not knowing what to say.

"_I spoke to his lawyer about the physical reconciliation phase and he said he'd talk to him about it-"_

"Do you think there's even a point? He didn't even show up to the sessions," Rinoa replied hopelessly.

"_Well actually, his lawyer just called me back, apparently Mr Leonhart agreed," _Caroline replied with a hint of laughter.

"Really?" Rinoa asked, astonished at what she was hearing.

In the past six months Squall hadn't shown up to a single one of their counselling classes and meetings. She had no doubt that he would disagree to actually physically trying to reconcile. But somehow she had been wrong.

As Rinoa smiled to herself, her thoughts returned to a hope that maybe there would be a change. That somehow she had finally broken though a wall, or at least made some crack in Squall's hard exterior, and at last was seeing a result. Maybe he wanted this reconciliation. Sure it took bloody long enough, but ultimately he was actually willing to attend.

"_You bet. I've had Eric on the phone just now and confirmed that he'd get the dates sorted out," _Caroline enlightened the sorceress, her tone audibly happy.

"Erm," Rinoa let out a breath, "where?" She asked, returning to the comfort of her one worded sentences.

"_Well, it will probably have to be in Esthar, the Judge was pretty adamant that you both live together without interference."_

A faint smile was placed upon Rinoa's lips, something which, though her heart and mind was still sceptical, it allowed her to feel some form of optimism. Her earlier thoughts of his care and love for her resurfaced, but now with a different outlook. Maybe this was his way of showing he cared. So her Knight had been a little proud at first, he was probably still getting over the shock of seeing the divorce application. But, he had come round and agreed to see her again, there was a substantial possibility that he wanted to correct his errors.

Rinoa thanked her lawyer and placed the phone back on its stand, breathing unevenly from surprise at the unexpected call. Her head was still gathering all the information and her emotions were slowly allowing the initial shock to settle.

Never in their entire time apart, had she felt anything less than love for him. She tried at first to despise him when he didn't call, tried harder when two months had passed and she realised he wouldn't come after her. By the sixth month she had filed for divorce and yet Squall had showed no emotion. At least not to her.

Walking back to her window, Rinoa looked out to notice that the rain had finally stopped. Though the patches of grey clouds still lingered in the sky, she knew it would only be a matter of time before the sun finally shone through.

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><p>It was already well past curfew as the Commander headed back towards his dormitory with his gunblade flung over his shoulder. He had pretty much killed every Grat on sight, much to the chagrin of a few prospective SeeD candidates who had been hoping to prepare for the field exam the next day.<p>

Now the Commander headed back to his lair, his undershirt half drenched in sweat and his brown locks matted down to his head. He had taken out all his frustration in the best possible manner he saw fit. It worked every time, but Squall was gradually coming to terms that the length of time it took was increasing. He remembered back to the days of being a Cadet, when Seifer would tease him particularly, it only took an hour to get his vexation out of his system before he was able to return to normal. Rinoa's comatose status had seen him in the Training Centre for a bit longer than that, but never for nearly half his working day. Things were getting serious.

In his apartment, the Commander removed his sweat soaked clothes and discarded them into the laundry basket, before grabbing a towel and heading into the shower. He turned the hot water knob full way and stepped into the heated encasement, allowing the water to trickle down his aching body. It was a haven for his muscles after a painful workout.

Within the year, his apartment had seen many changes; no longer was there a shared towel rack, no longer was there rose and jasmine scented toiletries, no longer was there pictures decorating nearly every room of his humble abode. Now the lion's lair truly was an imitation of a catalogue magazine. Everything was generic, his living room prim and proper from the glass coffee table, complete with several issues of Weapon's Monthly, to his entertainment system which was barely ever touched. His bathroom was also the picture of a perfectly neat and tidy prop just begging for a mark of uniqueness.

Though his room did have some character, as disgustingly generic as it was, it was very different to the other default Balamb dorm rooms that he and Rinoa first entered upon. However, even her touch was long gone. Every single object of Rinoa's hard effort to make the place less prison-esque and more like their own love shack, had been placed in tightly sealed large boxed containers and stored in his personal garage. Nothing in this apartment shed even the slightest memory of her presence. It was as if she hadn't ever lived with him. It was as if she hadn't even stepped foot in his apartment let alone had half her stuff dotted around the place. It was an ease to look around the place and not be reminded of her. He didn't stumble upon one of her missing socks. He didn't 'accidentally' pick up her coffee mug. He didn't drowsily roll over to her side of the bed and smell the sweet scent of her perfume. Everything was his and she had no involvement in it.

Yet, there was one place she had invaded a long time ago and it seemed there was no way of getting her out. As Squall placed both palms against the tiled wall, bending slightly forward with his head bowed down and his eyes firmly shut, the water splattering against his muscled back, he could do nothing but keep thinking about Rinoa.

A whole year and she still occupied his mind, in nearly every free thought she would come barging in and vacate. It was all he could do but lay awake at nights, thinking what had possessed her to act so rashly. And what he had done to keep her away for so long.

He couldn't deny that insecure thoughts had filled his mind and only a week in and he was questioning her feelings. Did she really love him? Did she care for him at all? Surely, anyone who felt anything sincere wouldn't have gone so far. If he had done something so unforgiving, then she should have told him. But he hadn't as far as he could remember, and the only faults he could, didn't equate to the severity of her actions.

Remembering the phone call he'd had with his lawyer brought back infuriation and annoyance. He couldn't possibly go ahead with this ridiculous procedure. He didn't want to give in and have her think he was still pining after her. Rinoa wanted to leave, she had packed her bags, got on a train and left. She hadn't called, not once, and six months later, she had filed for divorce.

"Damn it!" Squall grunted, smashing his fist into the tiled wall.

It was clear she didn't love him.

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><p><strong>Author Notes, 6<strong>**th**** May 2011: **A year ago, around this time, I met my friend **n9neSTAR** who helped me and encouraged me to post _The Set Up_. It was the friendship with her that inspired me to write _Breaking Through Appearances _and just really got me into writing more AUs for this fandom. A year on and it's really down to this lovely lady, **Ashbear**, that I had the courage to write my first post game story _Horns of a Dilemma_, and really it was down to her support that I had the guts to post it. So, in celebration for ten years of keeping this fandom alive, I dedicate this story to her. Hopefully, her writing will encourage others to keep this fandom going.

Here's to another ten years! ;)

P.s. The quote above from _Castles in the Sky_, I used this because it represents inner-strength that sometimes we all lack. It's a beautiful quote and from such a beautiful story.

P.s.s. Huge thanks to Jebus Creiss for the beta reading.


	2. Life is Variable

**Author Notes: **Please don't ignore this and jump straight to the chapter, I promise it won't be long.  
>I have a oneshot called <em>The Edge of Dreams<em> which is up, please read it (and review :P) as it was initially a chapter idea for this fic, but I decided to lengthen it and have it as a oneshot.  
>I know most of you have exams and such or you're just really busy with life in general, so I will be taking a back seat and not updating as much. It's just that I think I'm posting like crazy and not giving people a chance to get into my stories. So, until <em>Friendship Isn't Enough<em> is completed, this will be the last chapter for now. Please review, as always they make me happy and motivated and I love you guys so much for every review. And as a treat for every person who reviews, I will love you so much more. I swear, my love is like the best thing, it's just so wow! They're like Skittles, the blue ones! C'mon, how can you not want some Skittles?

Oh and thanks to **Carie Valentine **for beta reading this chapter. :)

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><p><strong>.:~ Chapter Two - Life is Variable ~:.<strong>

If there was one thing Rinoa Heartilly loved about her workplace, it was the blueberry muffin and large cup of coffee sitting on her desk every morning. She loved Zone and Watts; loved them even more for being so welcoming when she had arrived in Timber jobless and with no place to go. It wasn't like the two would have denied helping her; they had been through a terrible amount of stress while together. The trio, with the help of a few others, had set up the Forest Owls and helped defeat the Sorceress from the future, of course using the SeeD's help. But it was the aftermath that had really reined in their skills and tested their determination. The sorceress was killed and the world went back to playing happy families.

However, Timber, though liberated, was still in the need for an economic lift-up. The unemployment rate was scaling high and with various members of resistance groups now off duty, the numbers had only increased. It took a lot of community power, a good mayor and the last four years to actually get Timber back on its financial feet.

Being so close to fertile land and fortunately occupying forty percent of Galbadia's green land, Timber soon found they were trading in just that. It seemed the timber wood they were dispatching to other countries and continents were one of the best materials for all sorts of building objects. Pretty soon, it seemed factory workers were back on board, opening up several administration and IT jobs in the process.

For Rinoa and her companions, there literally was no other place well suited than Timber Maniacs. The Sorceress had heard of the famous media enterprise and even had the pleasure of reading some of their material. Though apart from the ones written nearly seventeen years ago, it lacked for better word, content. Now that the occupation had deteriorated, the writers spent their time reviewing the delicacies of roasted Geezard loins and Jellyeye flavoured ice-cream. Both of which were very popular in the Shumi Tribe region no doubt.

Watts had seen the ad for new potential journalists and soon he along with Zone had applied. With Watts having a specialty in collecting information, he was easily able to get his hands on the sauciest and crucial scoops across the globe. Zone had more management skills and was soon thrust upon Assistant Editor-in-Chief. It had been a blessing for Rinoa when he offered her a place at their small establishment. She loved writing and though she only wrote for a small segment for their leisure section, she appreciated the open arms they had welcomed her into.

Putting her bag down beside her desk, Rinoa picked up the muffin and broke off a chunk. Popping it into her mouth the same time Zone and Watts walked in from the corridor, Rinoa held out a thumbs up.

"Ah, I see you've both been well acquainted," Zone teased, placing a warm plate on his desk and signing himself into his computer station.

"You know, that joke gets a bit bland after the twenty-third time," Rinoa replied, winking at him with a smirk. "But I thank you; he and I will have the best five minutes of our lives."

Taking another bite, Rinoa sat at her station and began sifting through the files left out for her. She had only two more articles to write before her upcoming leave, it made her nervous to think she'd have to leave Timber so soon. Strangely, it had felt like only yesterday she had walked in on her first day of a non-Garden related job. Yet realistically, ten months later and she would have to inform them of her little absent time away.

A thought hit Rinoa then, she was actually thinking of telling them she'd be away for a _while_. It questioned her optimism on the upcoming meeting with Squall. Surely, this meant her thoughts to return to Timber had a subconscious belief that Squall and her marriage wouldn't be fixed. She scoffed and rolled her eyes at the thought. As if her marriage was 'fixable' like some broken chair or an overused car. Her relationship status with Squall was more like a shattered mirror. Replaceable, but never fixable.

Subconsciously, she had let out a harsh sigh, depressingly looking at her keyboard as if it could produce answers. It wasn't until a good silent two minutes in, that she looked up to see Zone and Watts looking at her worriedly, a rueful smile on Watt's face.

"My lawyer called yesterday," Rinoa instantly replied to their unspoken question, "Squall's agreed to the physical reconciliation."

Both men were very surprised to hear that, normally Rinoa's harsh breathing was down to Squall being uncooperative; they didn't expect to hear of progress. Their eyes had widened in shock and their stammering replies had only reinforced their emotions.

"R-really?" Watts asked for confirmation.

"Abso-positively," Rinoa replied, her voice laced with fake excitement.

"Wow," Zone eventually spoke, equally astonished as his blond friend. "For once he's actually doing something right."

Immediately, Rinoa felt a stab of hurt. He hadn't said anything to her, but still the mention of Squall and an unfavourable comment in the same sentence sent injuries to her heart. It really wasn't what she needed to hear or wanted for that matter. Yes, she could be upset with him. She could be mad at him and if she wanted, she could send a few meteor showers his way. But no one else could speak ill of him. She wouldn't allow it.

"Well, at least he's coming," she eventually answered, not making eye contact her friend and keeping her sight lowered.

"Yeah, well he has to now, didn't turn up to a single session before, did he?" Zone rhetorically questioned with bitterness.

No he didn't. Had she expected him to? Well… yes, but was she overly surprised when he hadn't? Not particularly. Squall was, no doubt, hurt by her sudden departure so it was only natural that he would be uncooperative. She had thought he would close up, and confirmation was enough from all of Quistis's accounts. She had hurt him, but he had also hurt her, more than he knew.

"I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't turn up, don't get your hopes up," Zone ordered, pointing an authoritative finger in Rinoa's direction.

Shaking her head, Rinoa pushed the muffin away from her, tired and fed up of Zone's constant berating of Squall. She knew he cared for her, and he was only worried about her being hurt by him again. Though Zone never questioned Squall's love for Rinoa, he was apprehensive and cautious to leave her in his care. The last time he had left Rinoa with the Commander she had come back almost lifeless.

It wasn't the muffin's fault. The sweet confectionary, normally her morning companion, hadn't done anything wrong. But it was all she could do to get her frustration and anxieties out and sadly it was at the expense of the innocent baked good.

Sensing her quick change of mood and reserved attitude, Zone internally kicked himself before sighing.

"I'm sorry Rinoa, that was uncalled for," he apologized sincerely. "I'm sure he will turn up, just ignore me."

She nodded at him, yet kept her eyes firmly fixed on her computer screen, very interested in the flashing cursor that awaited her new detailed entries to next week's paper. But Zone's comments had already been heard and had seeped into her already unsteady mind. She gathered that just as Squall hadn't come after, hadn't called her, and hadn't showed up to their sessions, he most probably wouldn't turn up to this one.

* * *

><p>"Squall…? Squall?" Quistis peered her head over the desk to get a better look at the Commander's distant face as he stared down into the Garden Quad from his office window.<p>

It was clear to the Instructor that he had already gone into Squall-land; his face contorted into a mixture of contemplation and irritation. His demeanour, though not the best at present time, had more or less subsided into a half-conscience state, his way of blocking out the rest of the world.

In his mind he was free to roam through the thousand of insecure questions that resurfaced since her leave. Though finding any answers for the said questions were never successful. So instead, he sat there, with his face sour, ignoring anyone who dared to break him from his moment of tranquillity.

"Squall, I need to talk to you about the field exam," Quistis tried getting his attention again.

Sighing with his eyes closed, Squall turned to the blonde with a look of expectation. His face clearly evident of annoyance caused by the Instructor.

"What about it?" he asked nonchalant.

"I have a class to teach, Instructor Aki has taken ill and I'm going to have to cover it. I would have gotten one of the others to do it, but since I covered the lesson yesterday it's only better that I carry on." Quistis calmly explained, hoping her next statement wouldn't get her head bitten off.

"Who will escort the cadets to the Fire Cavern?" Squall asked in irritation. This was clearly going to be a busy day. He really didn't have it in him to start sifting through the Instructor's timetables to find a substitute.

"Well, Xu is already preparing herself for the Mission in Winhill, and Nida is set to take the others to FH," Quistis replied, her nerves kicking in for what was to come. "I spoke to Martine and he said that he'd take over your paper work for today, so you can accompany the cadets to the prerequisite."

Taking a step away from the mahogany desk in front of her, Quistis placed her hands behind her back, a stance ready to run for it should the Commander have another sporadic moment of anguish.

"What?" Squall asked, he could have sworn he heard wrong. That Martine and Quistis wouldn't possibly expect him to leave his office when he had stacks of paperwork - not to mention the proposal he was suppose to present to the shareholders for the new extension - to take a batch of Garden Cadets for their prerequisites. He, the Commander, who also had the job of briefing a batch of SeeDs being dispatched in Trabia, to take out a group of rebels. No, of course they wouldn't expect the Commander, the superior of all, save the Headmaster, to be assigned something so arbitrary that it begged to question the extent of his qualification.

"Like I said, Martine wants you to accompany the Cadets since no one else is available," Quistis tried again, her demeanour changing to a more forceful approach to tame any chances of the lion pouncing on her.

"Well, I can't; I have work to do," Squall retorted, his hands moving to his desk and picking up the loose papers, shuffling them about for added affect.

"Martine said he'd deal with the proposal for now, besides, I heard you're going away in two weeks," Quistis continued, though Squall's piercing eyes were insisting that she stop. "Maybe it's better that you let him handle the current affairs and just tie up any loose ends. That way you won't be in a rush to get back."

"Not that it's any of your-"

"Business, I know," Quistis interrupted, rolling her eyes in the process, "Been there, done that, bought the chocobo print t-shirt. C'mon Squall, there isn't anyone else available."

Not allowing him to have another word, she turned on her heels and stalked off. Squall watched as she swayed her hips and headed for the door, realising that there literally was nothing he could do except do as told and be there for the little pests taking up his precious thinking time.

Looking at the clock hanging above his office door, he could see that he only had an hour before he was expected to meet the cadets. Moving his computer mouse around, he opened up his documents and produced the mission file to Trabia. If he had an hour left until the SeeD exam prerequisite, the least he could do was get something productive done.

* * *

><p>Trudging back towards Garden, Squall brushed down his black leather jacket, bits of ash falling to the grassy floor beneath him. He had forgotten how hot it was in the Fire Cavern, not to mention the amount of ash that descended from the cave tops and nestled in his hair. He would need to shower once he got back to his dorm.<p>

The smell of lava and brimstone lingered on his nose, tickling the small hairs inside his nostrils and resulting in him constantly sneezing.

The one thing he could be the least bit happy about, was that all four of the students he had accompanied had passed the prerequisites. He remembered how he had felt five years ago when he endured the same test with Quistis beside him. He had gone through the same Junctioning lecture, though even five years later he was questioning why this information was not drilled-in during class rather than a quick pep-talk just before the test. Well at least he hadn't poorly attempted to flirt with his students as Quistis had once done to make him feel at ease, though that resulted in an opposite effect. But then again, had he implemented Quistis's methods of exam prep, the four alpha male cadets would seriously question the Commander's sexuality.

Once he had reached the Garden gates, Squall turned to the young men behind him.

"All right, you're dismissed. You can visit the Training Centre if you want to practice some more skills and increase you're experience. It will be a good way to teach your GFs some more abilities. However, I do advise you to take it easy, the last thing you want to do is over exhaust yourself before the exam," Squall advised, taking a good look at each of the cadets.

The young men nodded in his direction before saluting and walking off. Squall stood there for a few more minutes, looking up at the huge Garden structure, feeling a mixture of ease yet contrastingly, also a feeling of dismay.

Walking towards the building, he pulled out his ID card having it ready. Swiping it through the mechanical system he entered the Garden building and continued toward the lobby, towards his room.

It was at that point that an idea came to mind. Martine had taken over the proposal for the Garden extension, leaving him free of any further work, another hour and he'd have that mission briefing completed too. If he could work fast enough he would be able to catch the next train out of here by six. Then he could see her before the ridiculous reconciliation sessions. He hadn't seen her in so long… truthfully, he missed her.

Deciding that he needed a break and could use the free time wisely, he continued towards his dorm room determined to be out of Garden to catch the next train out of Balamb.

* * *

><p>An hour and a half later, the Commander placed his overnight bag above his seat, before sitting down and fixing his leather jacket, patting down the creases at the front. He had left Garden a bit later than expected, the briefing having taken longer than necessary. But somehow, he had managed to complete his tasks and get past the questioning of his friends, though once Zell had seen his overnight bag, Squall could have sworn a grin had emerged.<p>

Lying against the headrest of his seat, Squall looked out of the window as the train engines slowly started and the humming noise increased. The vibrations of the train were already putting him to sleep, so he allowed the warmth of the room to quickly engulf him into a very tired slumber. The trains had substantially improved with the help of Esthar's new technology, so it would only be a couple more hours before he arrived at his destination.

* * *

><p>Rinoa walked into her humble abode, tiredly placing her handbag down on the floor and kicking off her heels. A normal nine-to-five day at work somehow still made her feel as exhausted as the time she was in battle. How five years had changed her. To think there was a time when she'd pull on her leather ankle boots and jump into battle with her friends. Now she was a twenty-three year old semi-journalist that wrote articles for the leisure column but still managed to come home drained of her energy.<p>

Angelo padded over to her, her tail wagging a welcome almost as if knowing it was what Rinoa needed after a long day at work. Rinoa knelt down and scratched the top of her female companion's head, feeling the need to ask her how her day was.

"You enjoyed your day, Angie?" Rinoa cooed, stroking down Angelo's dark fur.

There wasn't much for Angelo to enjoy. Apart of the toys and food that was left out, it wasn't like Angelo knew how to turn the TV on, or check the stacks of email that were slowly piling up, or take a stroll in the park by herself. No Angelo spent her days in a routine fashion starting with breakfast with her owner and then eight hours of endless eating and sleeping. Occasionally, she'd help around the house. And by that she meant licking the garden doors clean.

Walking into the kitchen, Rinoa took her stainless steel electric kettle and filled it with water. Placing it back onto it's hob, she allowed the water to heat while she rid herself of her work clothes. It was something she became very eager about, getting rid of the street smelling clothes and jumping into more comfortable home attire that normally consisted of her pyjamas or sweatpants.

Heading into her room, she pulled open her draws and produced an overgrown night gown, before picking up some grey sweats and pulled down her clipped hair. Ruffling her fingers into her now tangled mess, she let out a small tired sigh, before walking back down to the kitchen.

It was a very small home, a contrast to what she was normally used to. Having been born and brought up at Caraway Mansion and the living in one of the biggest mercenary establishments, this small terraced two bedroom house was starkly smaller. The downstairs only accommodated a good sized lounge area with a back door leading out onto a small patch of land that was her garden. A tiny passage way divided her lounge, front door and kitchen, which was about half the size of her living room, allowing her the space to take her meals.

Upstairs was a small shower room, a double bedroom and a single. It wasn't a very big house, but living by herself, it only increased her loneliness. She questioned why she had bought the house. Why she hadn't decided to buy a studio apartment that would have been better for a single lady like herself. A couple of colleagues from work who she had once or twice invited over had confused the place to be a family home. And quite right they were. She often guessed that her choice of the house had lay in her subconscious. That this was the type of home structure she had been after for a long while. Depressingly, she had gotten it, but without the additions she expected to follow.

In the kitchen, Rinoa opened up her fridge and took out some items. Cooking for one had become a lot simpler, though not easier on her emotions. She was used to eating with her friends, eating with Squall, so when she first arrived in Timber and had rejected Watt's invitation to dine with him and his wife, the silence had almost killed her. The clock's ticking just made her senses realise how alone she was, it was all she could do but take out the batteries and buy a digital clock the next day.

But nothing could rid her of the truth. This was her life now, she had chosen it and had to endure it whether she liked it or not.

With an accepting nod, something which was frequent every time she had that internal conversation, Rinoa began cutting slices of chicken breast and various stir fry vegetables.

* * *

><p>It was almost midnight, the sky had become a solid blanket of black, dotted white with clear stars. He had forgotten how beautiful it was out here, how he used to stare up at the sky, trying to count each and every star though as impossible as it was. The air itself was also refreshingly revitalizing; clean, crisp and clear. Nature always did have a way to calm him down and appreciate the simplicities of life. Balamb had normally done that too, but currently it contained too many memories he'd rather not reflect upon.<p>

Her house was only a few meters away from him now, a small establishment which seemed so much bigger to him many years ago. Each step he took towards the house, felt like the house was shrinking along with his confidence. He hadn't seen her in a long time, he wasn't so sure whether he was still up for it. No doubt she'd want to talk, talk about things he'd rather just brush under the carpet and pretend didn't exist.

But his heart, his mind and his confidence needed that boost, and she normally made him feel at ease. So without another conflicting thought, he arrived outside her door. Taking a sturdy balled fist, he lightly knocked on the door.

* * *

><p>It was almost midnight and Rinoa had retired to the comfort of her cosy green couch. And by retired, she more or less looked like a big lump engulfed in a layer of quilt and decorated cushions. Angelo was sleeping in a similar lump-like manner as her owner at the foot of the sofa, eyes firmly clamped shut and snoring into the lateness of the night.<p>

The Sorceress let out a yawn, feeling drowsy but too lazy to get off and make it to her room. Though the TV was on, the volume was muted, a bit pointless really, but she hadn't the fainted interest in reality TV and there really wasn't anything else on. She much preferred to drown out the voices and make up her own dialogue in her head.

A knock at the door startled Rinoa from her fixed gaze, confused at who'd be making such a late night call. Zone and Watts would surely call if they wanted to come over, neither of them had the nature to suddenly turn up unannounced.

Making sure not to wake her furry companion, Rinoa softly kicked off the quilt and stood up, sliding her pink fluffy slippers on and making her way out of the lounge carefully. The passage way was dark, only dimly lit by the light reflecting from the lounge, which was soon taken care of by the flipping of a light switch near the door.

Taking hold of the inside lock, Rinoa opened up her door a creak, staring at her visitor with unexpected surprise. Her facial expression was clearly evident as his own face answered back with a guilty grin.

"Hi," he gently whispered.

* * *

><p>Squall could hear soft footsteps approaching the front doorway to where he stood. His over night bag flung over his shoulder, he patiently waited as he could hear the sound of a chain being slid away, followed by the sound of the lock being turned. A brief second pause before the door finally opened to her standing in a white cotton nightgown, her black hair draped over her delicate shoulders.<p>

"Squall?" she asked softly, the influence of sleep evident in her voice.

Nodding to her, he let the thinnest of smiles adorn his face, before he answered, "Hello, Matron."


	3. Kindess of Strangers

**Author Notes:** I decided I'd update this since I was asked to reconsider postponing it. Erm, I think the rating I had intentionally planned for this will need to be bumped up since one chapter will definitely stray onto the M category. It won't be for a while, but just letting you know in case you search for this story and can't find it. Or when you do you see it has been updated for a while now. If you don't normally read M rated fics, you can add this story to your alerts and that way you won't miss it. Or alternatively, you can add me to your Author Alerts and you get updates to all my fics :)

Other than that, not sure if any of my readers here read AUs, but I have two currently going on, one of which is near completion, so check it out (links can be found on my profile). Also _Horns of a Dilemma_ is currently at chapter four and will most probably be updated more frequently than this story, so check that out and leave me a review (We authors don't actually know you're reading unless you show us in some way ^_^ )

So without further ado, and innovating the youtube 'Comment, Rate and Subscribe', remember to **'Alert, Review and Subscribe'** :P

* * *

><p><strong>.:~ Chapter 3 – Kindness of Strangers ~:.<strong>

Not that she didn't love her estranged husband's father or that she heavily adored her isolation from those close to her, but Laguna Loire did have pretty bad timing. The time difference could have been an excuse were it not that Esthar was five hours ahead of Galbadia and half the population were in a deep slumber. But Laguna was not a hasty man - well not as hasty as most assumed. He did however, have a very good reason for his actions (once he thought long and hard) and tried his best to somehow make his feeble attempts logical in the slightest.

Staring at the man in front of her, Rinoa could only assume that the President was here for something, though she had hoped against, she knew had already passed down the grapevine. She tried to feign ignorance, though she clearly knew why he was standing outside her front door at midnight (or the early hours of dawn depending on which time zone each was looking at). It flattered her and at most she felt happy that at least one person was there to be a father figure to her at a time of need. But it begged the question, why wasn't he standing outside his son's front door?

"Sorry to disturb you," Laguna meekly stated, swaying on his heels.

"Oh, no you're not. Please come in." Rinoa quickly moved aside and let her father-in-law into the brightly lit passageway.

"I ah, just wanted to see how you were doing," he replied with a scratch of his head. Moving in to the narrow space he allowed Rinoa to shut the door behind him before she turned to face him accusingly.

"At midnight?" Rinoa asked with a look of puzzlement.

Laguna looked around the passageway, though he couldn't place his sight anywhere in particular due to the bareness. A coat rack wasn't exactly the most interesting ornament in one's home. Feeling uncomfortable, he let out a soft chuckle and shrugged his shoulders. "I got a bit held up in the office?" he offered.

Smiling at his typical behaviour, Rinoa gestured to the kitchen and led the way. Switching on the lights, she walked over to her kettle, opened up the lid and took it over to the sink to fill it with water. Laguna pulled out a chair from under the round pine wood breakfast table, sat down and propped his arms on the yellow plastic table cloth as he watched Rinoa prepare their beverage.

"You still take three sugars?" She glanced back at him with another smile.

"Yes," he replied evidently embarrassed yet amused by her remembrance. He continued watching her while going over his prepared conversation in his head. He didn't want to catch her off guard or corner her into a conversation she didn't want, but he felt that being alone in Timber away from most of her friends she probably didn't have anyone to talk to.

Laguna had felt distressed once he heard about their break-up, curious and deeply hurt by Rinoa's sudden departure. He had honestly tried being there for his son, though Squall had closed up and refused to speak to him about the matter. Truly, he would have gone to see Squall, but he knew the Commander would object to broach him on the subject, it was futile after all.

So he did what he felt was the only practical course of action. Though he was the President of the biggest continent on the world, Laguna Loire was just a powerless father in their current situation.

"So, who told you?" Rinoa asked getting straight to the point. Placing Laguna's cup in front of him, she took a seat on the chair opposite him and awaited his answer.

"Er, I spoke to Selphie today; she mentioned Quistis said something about it to her," Laguna answered with a wry smile. "I was surprised; thought he'd definitely decline."

"You and me both." Rinoa lifted her cup to her mouth and blew into it before taking a sip.

"But you are happy, right? This is what you wanted?" Laguna moved forward and looked into Rinoa's eyes as if her true emotions were hidden somewhere deep within. "The last time I was here you said Squall was stubborn, that Squall would only attend the sessions if he was forced to."

Rinoa nodded in reply, remembering only a couple months back when Laguna had dropped by for a visit on his way back from Deling City. It had been three weeks since her counselling sessions had started and Squall hadn't shown up to one. She remembered crying, remembered how vulnerable she had become and allowed Laguna to see her in such a state. It was for the best really. She could pretend with everyone else - even Squall for that matter - that she was calm and collected and couldn't care less if he didn't turn up; Laguna and Quistis were the exceptions. To them she had exposed her true feelings, her true needs and wants and how far she was willing to go to piece back her relationship.

"I know," Rinoa replied with a sigh. "But… now I'm questioning why he's coming."

"What do you mean?" Laguna asked as he continued to watch Rinoa in her thought.

The raven haired shrugged her shoulders before looking up at him and replying, "Why is he coming now? Is it because he wants to make amends, or is it just a get-it-over-and-done-with scenario?"

Laguna's expression changed to one of understanding, contemplating what Rinoa had just said. It hadn't occurred to him that though Squall would be forced into such a situation, the Commander was not only smart enough, but could brave the situation, stick it out and get his way in the end. Maybe Squall had only agreed to this little set-up so he could at least show the judge he had tried.

"Well, maybe it won't be so easy?" Laguna finally replied, quickly taking a sip of his drink. "I doubt the judge will expect you to live together for… how long is it?"

"Two months."

"Only two?" Laguna asked in astonishment.

"Two will be enough; we haven't seen each other in a year I don't know how we'll last a week." Frustrated, she put her hands to her head and clawed at her hair; her anxieties and fears rising up in her chest. Could she do this? Was she ready to see him again? She hadn't seen him in so long how exactly was this going to work? Just thinking of the upcoming meeting caught her breath every time.

"I'm sure two months will be fine then. With the weekly sessions you and Squall will sort out your problems in no time," Laguna offered with an encouraging smile.

Rinoa looked up at him in surprise. She hadn't known there was going to be weekly sessions. In fact, she didn't know much about what was going to be expected of them. Obviously, they wouldn't be left in a house expected to fend for themselves and sort out their problems between them. There had to be some form of action to reconstruct their relationship by a third party, or so she assumed.

"What does happen in the reconciliation phase? We don't have such practises in Galbadia."

Laguna smiled in jest, smoothing down the table top and looking into his cup. "Oh you know, the parties just get together… and reconcile."

"How?" Rinoa asked.

"Oh, they live together and have weekly sessions… that sorta thing."

Tilting her head to the side she looked at Laguna with mild curiosity. "Laguna," she called out getting his attention as he lifted his naive eyes to look at her, "You don't have a clue about these divorce procedures, do you?"

"No," the man replied back going a shade of red, "Kiros does though, he's well educated in these fields. Took a course in family counselling a couple of years back and learnt all about relationship dynamics and stability… He should have been a marriage counsellor."

"Where is Kiros?" the Sorceress asked. She was sure Laguna wouldn't travel by himself that late… Or early again, depending on who was looking at it.

"Back in the Ragnarok, he has a meeting in the morning so said he'd sleep in the cockpit until I was done," Laguna answered, before sadly continuing, "You'd be surprised how much of a help he's been these past years."

* * *

><p>Edea sat across Squall in her wooden rocking chair while the Commander sat on the long cream couch, his left arm resting on the armrest. He had quickly drank his coffee and sat watching Matron as she sipped her tea quietly, patient and waiting for Squall to start up the conversation.<p>

In the years that Edea had known Squall she had never pushed him to open up, always giving him the time and opportunity to do that himself. Ellone had been Squall's first trial in life. He had been very young at the time, barely reached five-years-old before she had to be taken away to safety. She still remembered his sad puppy dog eyes looking up to her questioning where Sis had gone. It broke her heart to see him in such pain, to lose someone so important to him. Now looking into his eyes, she felt a pang at her heart seeing those emotions resurface.

It didn't take a genius to figure out why he was here; he had avoided her at first, came up with excuses when she'd call just to ask about his welfare. But that's all she did - ask if he was all right. Rinoa's name was never mentioned, nor the current status of their relationship. Just how she gave Squall that time to accept Ellone had left and finally come to her to grieve, she had given him that time to accept Rinoa's departure and finally he sat opposite much like in the same manner nearly twenty years ago.

"How is everyone doing in Garden?" she finally broke their long silence.

Clearing his throat, Squall sat up straight and answered, "Fine… Just busy with the end of the academic year."

Edea nodded in understanding and sipped her tea again.

"How is Martine getting on with the job?" she further enquired, keeping to the safety lines of Garden.

"Fine, you picked a good person to take over; he works just as well as Cid."

Edea smiled at that, happy that though her husband was no longer with them, his efforts hadn't gone to waste and that someone was still carrying on their legacy.

They sat in silence for a couple of minutes more. Squall's breathing and the tick-tock of the clock being the only sounds audible to dampen the calm silence. Edea's clattering tea cup and saucer added to it, as she reached over and set it down on the small wooden coffee table. Sitting back against her chair, she pulled her shawl closer to her and looked at her guest with a warm smile.

Squall soon gave in and sighed. "Speaking of Garden, I'll be away for a couple of months next week."

"Oh?" Edea murmured with keen interest.

"I'm going to Esthar… The divorce lawyers called," he struggled to announce.

Edea's smile changed to a look of disappointment. She had not expected that to be what Squall came to speak about, not that she had any specific subject in mind. But Squall's divorce wasn't something she wanted to get involved in, at least not in the direction she assumed it was heading. She had truly hoped Squall and Rinoa could sort out whatever differences they had and things wouldn't have to end drastically. But as she sat there she realised that the reality of their affair was drawing to a close.

"Oh," Edea repeated a second time.

"We're expected to go through some reconciliation process," Squall continued, this time getting another curious look from Edea.

"A what?" Edea asked in puzzlement.

"It's some kind of pre-divorce procedure in Esthar. They don't deem a relationship irreconcilable unless you go through each measure, well that's what my lawyer explained."

"Well, that's interesting." Edea didn't know much about Esthar, having only ever been acquainted with the country once and seldom leaving Centra, she wasn't very knowledgeable in other political affairs.

"I'll be there for about two months." Squall sighed, unsure of where his conversation was going. It wasn't like it needed to have a direction, he just felt he needed to talk to someone and Matron seemed to be a good choice. He had always come to her as a child whenever he felt stressed, growing up he had distanced himself for a very long while, but in the last two years they had reformed that relationship and he felt it an injustice not to inform her before he left.

"So, you'll be staying with Rinoa?" She had said the name and looking at Squall's eyes she could see the hurt that lingered there.

"Yes." Squall lowered his eyes to the oat coloured carpeted floor. It had been a while since he had heard any of his friends say her name out loud. He himself never uttered her name; it was too painful to hear it. Funny how it didn't psychically hurt him, but his heart skipped a beat and his breath became heavy just listening to the way her name floated in the air.

* * *

><p>Laguna swirled the last bit of coffee in his cup watching as the now cold beverage glistened from the kitchen light, its residue staining the bottom of the white ceramic mug. Not that it was awkward between them or the prolonged silence was dragging on, but the President found small nervous habits like these a method to thoroughly think through the direction of conversation. It was common knowledge that he wasn't the most eloquent of speakers and at times got himself into a verbal mess.<p>

It wasn't his fault, certain people and subjects made him nervous. Most people stammered, stuttered or became speechless, but not Laguna. Certain situations heightened his nerves causing him to ramble on endlessly. Well it was a step up from legs cramps in the most embarrassing circumstances. He had already made an idiot of himself in front of Rinoa's mother a lifetime ago. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice.

"So…" Laguna spoke again casually. "This whole process, you will give it your all, right?"

"How do you mean?" Rinoa asked inquisitively.

"Well, obviously during your counselling sessions you'll need to get everything off your chest. Certain questions may pop up. What if Squall asks the reason why you left?" His question wasn't supposed to be as forward as it came out. Laguna remained ignorant of her reasons, choosing not to broach her on the subject until she was good and ready to tell him. Of course, he also respected that she may and should share that knowledge with her husband first. But it still made the President curious to know, why she had left. What could Squall have done to make her react with such severity. And yet, she still wanted to be with him. It was confusing and perplexing but Laguna never did understand women.

Rinoa couldn't look at him, keeping her eyes on her empty drinking mug. She wasn't ashamed, far from it. She wasn't regretful, they would understand her actions if they knew her reasons. But even so, with her mind and heart believing her actions were reasonable she still felt guilty for the pain she caused her friends. Yes, her relationship with Squall was between them. Their intimacy and private affairs were their problem. But amongst all their troubles lay the loving emotions of a handful who hurt just as much as them; who were saddened by her leave as much as she hoped Squall was, and who suffered their absence as much as her heart. She didn't want to hurt her friends, she loved them with all her heart and wouldn't dream of inflicting an atom's weight of hurt on them.

However, even as she sat there opposite Laguna knowing full well he would like to know her reasons, she couldn't bring herself to speak. Squall deserved to know first, well if she was ever brave and relented enough to tell him. She knew telling Laguna her reasons would surely pave a way for sympathy but it was sympathy she didn't want. Not that she wanted to be hated but she didn't need people to agree with her actions. She suspected currently she was blamed for leaving, for not having enough patience or wisdom to deal with their problems. Telling them would change that. Telling them would reveal her innocence. But that would paint Squall as the "baddie", and she couldn't bear that either.

Curving away from meaning behind his question, she replied, "Whatever Squall asks, I'll try to be as honest as I can. I'm sure he deserves as much."

Laguna only nodded, relieved that Rinoa was being cooperative unlike his son. He didn't want this to be the end of them, not that anyone did. When they had first officially become a couple, a lot of people didn't think it would work. They were polar opposites, contrasting views and personalities. But Laguna knew better; they complimented each other with their differences. They helped each other open up and become better people. Those who truly knew Squall and Rinoa had more faith in their relationship than any other.

"Well, I best head off before Kiros comes in search of me." Laguna got up from the chair and stretched out his legs. Sitting down for too long had nearly put them to sleep.

Rinoa got up and followed Laguna out to the passageway as he began to open the front door. With the door half open, Laguna turned around and gave the Sorceress a wistful smile.

"I really do hope it goes well. Don't be put off by Squall, sometimes people can surprise you. Always accept the unaccepted."

"Unaccepted? Don't you mean always expect the unexpected?" Rinoa asked with a giggle.

"Er, yeah sure that works too." Laguna grinned, before bending down and kissing Rinoa's cheek. "Goodnight."

Rinoa bent her head against the door frame as she watched Laguna walk into the Timber night. Breathing in an anxious gasp she closed her eyes momentarily as she pondered on Laguna's words. Squall did have moments when his actions were unexpected, and unpredicted for that matter. Changing his mind about the reconciliation was proof enough but she still harboured inhibitions. One thing she had learned through all her experiences with the Commander was that life and reality wasn't always so pleasing.

* * *

><p>Squall thinly smiled at Edea once he reached the porch and prepared to say goodbye. Though Matron had suggested he stay the night and travel in the morning Squall was comfortable to spend the night travelling back in an isolated cabin.<p>

"Well, do let me know how you get on," Edea casually remarked, silently praying things would work out for the pair. She knew Squall had a strong network of friends who he could talk to, though he never did, she was unsure of who Rinoa turned to for comfort. Honestly, if she had Rinoa's contact details she would have given her the same pep-talk, but since she didn't, all she could do but keep the younger Sorceress in her prayers.

"Will do," Squall replied nodding his head.

Flinging the strap of his bag over his shoulder, he gave her a quick wave before walking down the steps until he reached the grassy outskirts of her garden and opened the white fence around the orphanage.

They hadn't spoken too much about his coming trip to Esthar, and struggled to skirt around the topic of Rinoa, but even so a small part of him felt calm being around Matron. Coming back to a place he was familiar with was also relaxing and he felt saddened to be returning. With each step he took on the sandy dirt path towards the train station, Squall's heart stiffened and the feeling of despair came back. He didn't want to go back to Garden; there was nothing there for him. But he had responsibilities, he had commitments, and in truth, he had friends would cared about his return. Even if _she_ didn't.

* * *

><p>With Angelo tucked into her makeshift bed in the living room, Rinoa soon retired to her own abode upstairs. It wasn't a very good idea to stay up till 01:30 AM nor was it a benefit to have that last cup of coffee. Now she really would be tossing and turning until the caffeine wore away and her drowsiness dominated till she could fall asleep.<p>

Well, at least her night wasn't pointless, she did miss Laguna a lot and was grateful that he was still keeping ties with her regardless of the situation with his son. She really did love the older man. Every call and every visit was always in her favour baring as much patience for her to slowly open up. Never did he demand to know her reasons, never did he demand her to apologise for the hurt she caused his son - no doubt she caused him a lot of hurt. It pained her to think of how much pain she caused him, but she had her reasons.

Thinking back to the questions Laguna asked, she stumbled upon the one which left her almost speechless. He never did demand but she wasn't naïve to assume he wasn't eager to know. She wanted to tell him, she wanted to just get it out and speak to someone. Quistis was the only other person to know and even then it wasn't enough. Maybe it wasn't about telling one other person, maybe it was down to telling _him_.

Instantly she shuddered at the thought. How could she? She wasn't brave; she didn't have the courage to tell him. Maybe her answer to Laguna wasn't as truthful as she'd intended. If Squall did ask her why she left, there was no way she could just blurt it out.

Sitting down on her bed, Rinoa opened up her bedside drawer and took out an A5 sized notepad. Leafing through the pages of her diary she pulled out a small Polaroid shaped photograph. Running her finger down the middle she let out a meek sigh, closing her eyes momentarily and hugging the photo to her chest.

Her eyes pricked with emotion and she soon found herself hurryingly putting the photo back. Emotions could wait for another night; she had work in the morning.


	4. When the Bough Breaks

**Author Notes:** Hey everyone. Promise this won't take long, just want to comment on the structure of the chapter since there's quite a few flashbacks. Just an attempt to get you acquainted with Squall and Rinoa's minor problems (you know how these minor ones just add up until a major one causes them to tumble?). The only problem was that the flashbacks were quite long, and believe me I did cut down on it and try to get the necessary parts up, but still I'm left with a huge word count. I was thinking of putting the last one in the next chapter. But after speaking to Carie, we both agreed it's more fitting for them all to be in one chapter since they all tie together.

So, while I normally show you one flashback but in two perspectives, the first one isn't defined as either of theirs. I've given you feelings of both characters and what I would call an unbiased perspective. I'm hoping this is the only time I will have a chapter with a huge amount of flashbacks.

Also, I wanted to inform you all of the new _Pocket Fiction_ app by Brandon **(6jrz422)** that allows you to download fanfiction stories on the go. You can download it from iTunes (link in the Micellaneous section of my profile. Only compatible with apple devices I assume). It's quite a neat app to have on your phone, and there should be another one released after which will allow you to review too. So check it out and support our fellow FF8 fanfic author!

Anyway, enjoy the chapter and I shall get round to replying to reviews shortly. Thanks for the support. :)

* * *

><p><strong>.:~ Chapter 4 – When the Bough Breaks ~:.<strong>

"_Squall?" Rinoa walked into their shared bedroom looking for the Commander as he lay in bed. "There you are."_

_Sitting down on the foot of the bed, she quickly wiped her dripping nose before sneezing repetitively three times. Her eyes were sore and watering at the slightest of bright lights, walking around their apartment proved to be hard at such heights and with such wide windows seeping in rays from the sun it proved difficult to avoid such harsh natural lighting._

_Squall got up into a sitting position; his own head feeling clouded and heavy as he too was suffering from the same illness. One whole solid hour they had waited in the dripping rain waiting for their car to be fixed in the middle of Balamb's Accauld Plains. It had started out as a nice day when they were getting back from a quick trip from the town. The sun, though not shining brightly, was out and the sky was a clear blue. Somehow in a matter of minutes, grey nimbus clouds had gathered, hovering above them and showering them in a heavy coat of cold rain._

_Of course they should have gotten into the car, or the repairman's truck, but not being able to assess how long their car would take to fix had them waiting nearly an hour in the storm._

_So here they both were runny nose, hot temperature and a pounding headache that the Commander could definitely do without. He didn't normally fall ill, even in situations where he'd get caught in bad whether he had never been this bad. There was an inkling thought that sharing a bed, not to mention germs, with Rinoa had increased his suffering._

_Well at least Cid was kind enough to give him however long he needed to recover. _

"_I need you to fill out this form." Rinoa handed Squall an A4 sized brown envelop as she pulled her legs onto their king sized bed and watched him open it up._

"_What is it?" Squall felt compelled to ask as he read through the sheets of paper stapled together._

"_A financial form for the course I want to do. Since I'm living off your income, you need to fill out the form," Rinoa answered briefly._

"_With my earnings you won't be entitled to any financial aid. I'll have to pay for your fees." Squall handed back the forms with disinterest as he leaned back against the headrest of the bed momentarily closing his prickling eyes. _

"_I know, but you still have to fill this out for their records." Rinoa was a bit aggravated by Squall's quick dismissal. She had been telling him for months about starting a long distance learning course but he never seem to take an interest._

_It was hard for her to be at Garden sometimes. All her friends were either mercenaries or working for the organisation in one way or another. Quistis was already an Instructor after her license was retained and Selphie was currently contemplating heading in the same career path. Every one of her friends had graduated High School, continued their education, albeit in a peculiar establishment, apart from her. She felt inferior at times, idle that she spent her days cooped up in an apartment waiting for her husband to return home._

_Searching online she had found a long distance learning college which offered courses to keep her busy. There were many subjects she could study and in return earn credit to qualify towards a diploma or even a degree. It excited her, the first time in a while that she was enthusiastic over something not related to Garden or Squall._

_Though Squall wasn't as eager. Honestly, it wasn't that he didn't want her to study or discouraged her acquiring knowledge in a field other than sorcery, but he was busy with his own workload and he didn't really have the time to sit and fill in a form which he knew would claim Rinoa was earning too much to qualify for financial help. He didn't understand why they needed proof of his earnings, it would have been simpler to hand Rinoa the amount of gil needed for her to pay for her courses._

"_I'll do it later, I'm tired and my head is killing me," Squall excused himself, closed his eyes again and leaned further back into the headrest. His nasal passage had cleared since leaving a bowl of hot water with vapour rub near his bed. Already he could feel his cold subsiding; a feeling of relief as he inhaled deeply resulting in an icy sensation passing through his nostrils._

_But the headache that was pounding in his head wasn't settling. That remained like a constant thudding of veins and brain tissue wrestling for space in his head. What more, just thinking about all his time off work was adding to his frustrated agony. Sure at times he hated going into the office, but there was nothing Squall hated more than his workload piling up, deadlines having to be extended and things being incomplete. There was only so much Quistis and Xu could handle without him._

"_All right, make sure you do it though, this needs to be handed in by next week. Otherwise I'll have to wait for the next enrolment date." Rinoa placed the brown envelop on their bedside drawer, picking up her pink alarm clock and placing it on top to prevent it from falling off._

_Looking at Squall as he laid in bed she smiled before kissing his cheek tenderly, a sign of affection that wasn't very frequent._

"_I'm going to pop into the shower, hopefully it'll clear my head," she announced._

"_You should try breathing in eucalyptus," Squall suggested, keeping his eyes closed as he concentrated on breathing evenly._

_It had only been about ten minutes that Rinoa could be heard showering when Squall's phone started vibrating. Opening his eyes, the Commander looked to his bedside table and grabbed for the small black device, dropping a couple of items clumsily from drowsiness, and pressed a button before placing it to his ear._

"_Leonhart."_

"Ah, Squall. I was wondering how you're feeling?" _Cid's voice replied back._

"_Feeling much better, thank you," Squall answered sitting up in bed._

"Good, well I don't mean to be a bother, but I was wondering if you weren't too bad you could pop into the office."

"_Is everything all right?" Squall asked hoping nothing serious had come up._

"Well, nothing too major but a couple of files have inexplicably been deleted off the hard drive, I've had Quistis try and relocate them but poor thing had a harder time trying to find them."

"_How?" Squall frowned perplexingly._

"Well, it's my fault really. I went to open one of the windows and accidentally stepped on the wires. The tower lost power and when I turned the computer back on the files were gone,"_ Cid guilty explained._

"_Have you checked the recovery files?" Squall suggested, walking over to his drawers and taking out his socks._

"Ah, let me check…"

"_Headmaster Cid, give me a couple of minutes and I'll come check myself."_

"Oh I don't want to put you out, I'm sure if you give me the instructions I can find them myself."

"_It's no problem; I'll be there in five."_

_Squall hung up just as Rinoa stepped out of their en suit and rejoined him in their bedroom. Standing in front of their bed, she began drying herself while watching Squall search for clothes._

"_Did someone call?" she asked knowing full well she heard him on the phone._

"_Yeah, Cid called needing some help with some lost computer files."_

"_But you're ill." Rinoa looked at Squall expectantly, huffing under her breath in irritation._

_She didn't want to be one of those typical moaning wives or an overprotective mother, but only a couple of days ago Squall had been too sick to even hold his own head up let alone leave their apartment. Sure, they both were feeling better compared to the fever they endured the night they returned to Garden, but Squall hadn't completely recovered. Going back to work, though it was only one floor above, wasn't an option._

"_I feel fine." Squall dismissed Rinoa's concerns and pulled his black trousers on, sliding his belt in and buckling it up._

"_It's cold in the office and you shouldn't be looking at a computer screen with a headache; it'll give you a migraine." Her persistency continued as she tried to deter him from leaving. It wasn't just about him being ill, but presently as ill as she was, she was the one doing the run around for them. As lovingly as her friends tried to help, it was Rinoa who had to get up at 3 AM to prepare their medicine and heat up flu remedies and tins of chicken noodle soup. She didn't fancy taking care of Squall for another week over some files that she was sure Xu could find herself._

"_Rinoa, this is important. I'll be back shortly," Squall replied, briskly walking to her and kissing her forehead effortlessly._

_Taking his leather jacket from the closet he put it on and walked out of their bedroom without another word. Rinoa stood in her spot, still holding onto her damp purple towel as her hair dripped cold water onto her shoulders. Half a minute passed before she heard the click of the lock as Squall closed the front door behind him._

_She didn't want to be upset. Like before, she didn't want to be a nagging wife, but sometimes with Squall dismissing her concerns, it got very annoying. He hadn't listened to her when she suggested they walk back to a café and wait while their car was fixed. Oh no, he had said it wouldn't take that long. What happened thereafter? They got drenched in the rain and fell ill. Now that she was telling him not to go into the office, he was doing the same old 'Squall knows better' routine and would wind up coming back complaining of a migraine._

_She honestly didn't want to start any arguments, but sometimes she just wished he'd listen to her, put her concerns first and do as bloody told. _

_Shaking her head in frustration, Rinoa walked towards her wardrobe and pulled out a fresh set of pyjamas before closing the doors and turning around. Her eyesight fell to the floor near the bed and she instantly felt her earlier irritation and aggravation rise substantially. Lying on her floor was not only her alarm clock but also the forms that Squall had promised to fill in._

_Funny how he had a headache when it came to doing stuff for her, yet for Garden he was miraculously more than well. _

* * *

><p>"Okay, I think that's about it for tonight. Have a lovely weekend and don't forget to take one of these handouts before you leave, please."<p>

Rinoa placed her writing pad into her bag as well as her current literature book and pencil-case. Picking up her jacket that rested against the back of her chair, she pushed her open hair to the front of her shoulders before putting it on. She quickly flipped her hair back and grabbed her bag off the desk.

"See you next week, Rinoa," one of her classmates called out to her.

"Oh… ah yeah, see you," Rinoa stuttered as the young lady gave her an amusing quizzical look before disappearing.

It was her brain that caused her to sound so aloof. The lady wouldn't be seeing her next week; in fact no one would be seeing Rinoa for another two months for that matter. But she had decided to leave out that bit of information; it wasn't anyone's business where she'd be next week.

Rinoa had been studying at the Timber Community College for about three months and still kept her distance. She wasn't recluse or reserved how her other half had been most of his life, but instead she had kept her personal life at home. In school, Rinoa was just a cheerful student looking to expand her education and pick up some needed qualifications. When people asked her about her personal life, she remained brief citing that she was an only child, and yes, she was the daughter of General Fury Caraway.

Of course that little bit of knowledge sometimes led to more questions, normally about the circumstances and events five years prior. Then that led to the most obvious question, _"So, are you and Commander Leonhart still together?"_

It was a question she desperately tried to avoid; ironically, she had been lucky enough in one instance to be literally saved by the bell as her seminar had started. A few observant individuals were fully aware she had some type of a relationship with the Balamb Garden Commander, though the extent of it wasn't always known what with her having a small wedding an all. Squall had been very adamant that their business was to be kept between them; he felt the world knowing the Balamb Commander marrying the only Sorceress alive would erupt suspicions and doubts on Garden as a whole. Though at the time she had disagreed and cited that the world wasn't aware of her sorcery abilities, she was currently relieved and happy that she had gone along with it in the end. She really didn't want to explain her failed marriage to everyone and anyone.

Walking down each row of chairs, the Sorceress reached her tutor's desk and picked up a handout.

"Er, Melisa," Rinoa called out, causing the other woman to look up at her with a smile.

"Yes Rinoa, what can I do for you?" the older woman replied warmly.

"Erm, I actually won't be here next week," Rinoa answered, quickly looking around the room and waiting for the other students to clear out. "I'm going away for two months to Esthar."

"Ooh, a holiday?" the woman teased with a grin.

Letting a sarcastic, but amused giggle out, Rinoa replied, "Not quite."

She waited a couple of minutes as the last of the students cleared out of the room leaving her alone with her tutor. Taking a brave breath of air, she sifted through her mind for the best way to broach the subject, only she couldn't think of a _best_ way. Just _a_ way.

"Er, I have to go on this reconciliation process with my husband which will take two months."

Her tutor looked at her with surprising interest. "I didn't know you were married, you're very young."

"Ah, yeah, first boyfriend and all…" Rinoa murmured as if that explained her entire situation. But she decided not to elaborate and clarify on a matter that did affect the woman. "I won't be here to hand in the assignment so I was wondering if I could possibly send you a softcopy via email?"

Running two fingers through her hair nervously, Rinoa pushed aside strands of hair behind her ear. She hoped that college wouldn't be a problem for her now; she hadn't really thought about the implications the time away could have on her studies.

The woman smiled at Rinoa sweetly, "That should be fine, here I'll give you my personal email address if the college one isn't working."

Scribbling down on a piece of paper, the woman tore the necessary part and handed it back to Rinoa with a supportive grin. Rinoa took the paper from the older woman with an appreciative thankfulness. The last thing she needed was something or other to collide with her stay in Esthar. She honestly didn't want anything to prevent her mind from being fully there, or giving it her complete all.

"Thanks Melisa, I appreciate it. Bye." Rinoa smiled at her tutor before turning to leave.

Just before she reached the door, Melisa called out a quick bye before adding, "Hope it goes well."

Looking at her tutor's supportive smile, Rinoa could only beam at her.

* * *

><p>While walking down the empty hallway Rinoa heard her name being called out again. Instantly, she turned her head while keeping up her strides towards the exits. Another one of Rinoa's classmates had run up to her, a smirk on his face as he reached her and put a gentle hand to the small of her back.<p>

"Caught you in time," the tall young man stated with a chuckle.

"Yes you have. Anything I can help you with, Chris?" Rinoa asked, looking up at him expectantly.

"Yes, in fact. I have two tickets to a concert tomorrow night, was wondering if you were up for it?" Rinoa couldn't help the look of surprise that plastered across her face.

Christopher had been a good friend during her time here in Timber; ever since the day she ran into him on her way back with the shopping, the young man felt some sort of commitment to keep her company. He was a good friend, helpful and very social, and at times his laid back attitude and sense of humour reminded her of Zell.

"I'll even take you out for dinner after, show you a good time." He winked at her with a cheeky smirk.

Okay, Zell mixed in with a bit of Irvine.

Rinoa chuckled at his suave and subtle attempts to woo her. "Sorry, but I'll be busy packing all weekend. I'm going to Esthar for a couple of months."

"Oh." Christopher's surprised face changed to a quick frown. "What about school?"

Rinoa pushed the double glass doors in front of her only to be met with a sharp breezy gust. Huddling her jacket tightly across her chest, she held onto her book bag, using her other free hand to push back her flailing hair away from her face, and squinted her eyes to see clearly through the wind. "Melisa's allowing me to hand in the assignments electronically. I'll only miss a couple of tutorials really."

Christopher kept his pace alongside Rinoa as they walked towards the school gates and turned onto the public street. Clearing his throat he begged the question, "So what's in Esthar?"

"Erm." Hesitatingly, Rinoa lowered her eyes. She didn't want to tell her friends what the problem was, but it was inevitable. Either way, when she returned with or without Squall, they would enquire about her vacation. But even so, a lot of people were becoming curious about her almost private life; a lot of friends begging questions about her decision to return to Timber when only a few years ago she was adamant that Balamb was her home.

She had much rather go on this excursion, stake it out and hope that things worked out between her and Squall. If it didn't, then she could retreat back to the life she had set up for herself, no questions asked, no pity necessary. In all honestly, Rinoa just didn't want to hang her dirty laundry out to dry, though that begged another question… who on earth hangs their dirty laundry?

"Rinoa?" Christopher's voice broke the sorceress from her mental tangent.

"Oh, sorry!" Rinoa excused herself, recollecting her thoughts and indecisively answering his question. "I'm… going to meet my husband."

That had to be taken with a pinch of salt. Both her uttering the word 'husband' and the shocked look her friend was casting towards her. Yes, though she had been more or less living as a single woman, she was still married to that SeeD Commander she met when she was seventeen.

"Oh, sorry I assumed you weren't together anymore. I didn't even know you were married."

"Yeah don't worry, it's a long and complicated situation. I wasn't intending to be here that long, but you know, plans change." She huffed slightly, agitated that yet again she always felt like she needed to explain her actions. Yet ironically, Squall was the one person she refused to explain anything to. Though the reason there was more to do with him being her husband; he shouldn't need explanations, he should figure it out himself. He was her Knight first and foremost; they had a bond like no other. Surely, that meant more than just vibes and feelings?

"Sure, I understand." Christopher smiled at her before stopping just in front of his car. "So you want a ride?" he offered politely.

"No, I'm good. I feel like walking anyway," Rinoa declined with a smile, not wanting to expose herself to any opportunities that would trigger more questions than desired. It really was no one's business.

Giving her friend a quick wave she began making her way towards her home. With school and work not affecting her departure she could only hope nothing else would. She truly did want things to be sorted out between her and Squall. Laguna's visit and Melisa's vote of confidence only showed her that there was more to their relationship than just their circumstance. So they met at seventeen and were blessed with a bond that no one else could relate to. That didn't mean that's all there was to it. First and foremost, they were Squall and Rinoa, two people who fell in love, got married and had problems like any other couple. She could only pray that like any normal couple, there was a way for them to salvage their marriage.

* * *

><p><em>Squall walked into his apartment tiredly, each step heavy and lethargically laboured towards his home, his black boots thumping at the soft carpet on his lounge. His neck felt stiff and ached, his temples throbbing with a potential migraine and his eyes sore from staring at that darn computer screen for three hours straight. <em>

_He couldn't blame Cid, the man was ill; who else was supposed to cover his work if not the Commander. Squall could only hope for his own sake that Cid would get better soon and return. The more Squall was trying to get Cid's work done, the more his own was piling up._

_Walking past the lounge area, Squall briskly walked into his bedroom. Stopping at the door, he noticed Rinoa on the floor, her butt up in the air and her head buried under their bed. Now that was a sight worth staring at for three hours straight._

_Not wanting to disturb whatever activity was going on underneath their bed, Squall leant on the threshold of the door, folding his arms and admiring the view. She did have a perfectly round bum, tight and defined by the dark blue jeans she wore. Whatever had fallen underneath the bed was causing her to move, jiggling the lower part of her body. It was a funny sight to see her bottom sticking up high, wiggling freely for Squall's pleasure. He let out a small laugh, surprising Rinoa who let out a sudden gasp, followed with "Oof!"_

_Emerging from under the bed, Rinoa held her head in her hands, rubbing the top part of her scalp where she obviously bumped it and looked at Squall with a scowl. Squall kept the smirk on his face and raised an eyebrow._

"_Having fun?"_

"_No! Why can't you put your things away properly?" she remarked, chucking a tub of hair gel towards him. It landed near his feet, rolling just in front of him. Bending down Squall picked it up and looked back at Rinoa with his own frown. "Always leaving everything in a tip, at least have the decency to leave things in their correct place; they're not going to put themselves away, or do you leave them for me?"_

_Rinoa placed her arms on her hips determinedly, glaring at Squall crossly as he looked back at her with confused innocence. He didn't say anything, perplexed at why she was so angry over a small tub of gel. So he had forgotten to put it back in the bathroom, was that such a horrendous crime?_

"_Sorry, I was in a rush," Squall tried to excuse himself, walking into the bedroom and stopping just in front of her, unable to execute any other action._

"_Yeah, well you need to clean up after yourself; I'm supposed to be your wife not your maid," she replied hotly still shooting daggers at him with her eyes._

"_I didn't say you were," he stated quietly. Seriously, all this over what? How did his hair gel get under the bed anyhow?_

"_Well you don't have to say it; the way you leave this place cluttered expecting me to clean up after your shit speaks volumes."_

"_Why are you having a go at me?" Squall asked defensively, his voice rising just slightly as he directed a look of hurt and vexation at Rinoa. He hadn't even been home for two minutes and already she was breathing down his neck. If he had known she was in a foul mood he would have just stayed in his office._

"_Why can't you ever clean up after yourself, then maybe I wouldn't always be having 'a go'. Or is cleaning up after yourself not in your job description?" she scoffed, shaking her head and moving to the dressing table and preparing to wipe it down._

"_What does cleaning up have to do with my job?"_

"_Nothing," she muttered regretfully._

"_Rinoa, if you have something to say, say it." He couldn't be asked to sit here and guess the fifty-two reasons why she was upset today. Why she was having a hormonal problem and taking it out on him. So his hair gel was under the bed, why was that such a massive issue? Or was she trying to find something or other to start an argument, anything to give him a bigger headache than he already had._

"_It's nothing!" she replied defiantly. _

"_Well if it's nothing then why are you giving me a hard time? This is what I'm supposed to come home to after a hard day? Your whining?" Rinoa spun around to face him, her face indignant and furious._

"_Whining? You call sitting in a bloody office filling in paper work a hard day? I'm stuck here cleaning up after your shit and _I'm _giving you a hard time?" she bellowed at him, walking closer and angrily pushing the cloth in her hand onto his chest._

_He didn't bother to catch it as it fell to the floor and she took a step back, almost challenging him to refute her arguments._

"_I'm not going to be your maid anymore so clean up after yourself, _Commander_!"_

_He didn't have endure this, he had work to do up in the office. Though he came home thinking she'd be a comfort and bliss for him after a long tiring day she had in fact made it worse. In fact, right now that glaring migraine-inducing computer screen was looking really appealing compared to the hateful looks she was throwing at him._

_Whatever was bothering her, Rinoa could handle it on her own, he didn't have time for her childish moans._

_Turning away he walked out of the bedroom. He had only reached mid way into their living room when he heard her shout after him._

"_Squall, where are you going?"_

_He reached the door, biting his tongue from saying something spiteful, but she was honestly getting on his last nerves. He comes home tired and exhausted, hoping to have a nice meal and maybe fool around in bed before sleeping. No, instead she greets him with hostility and irritation and then has the audacity to ask where he's going? _

"_Away from you!" he barked back before slamming the front door._

_Taking a breath of calm air, he cursed under his breath and began making his way towards his office. The walk was supposed to calm him, but he was already pissed. Just thinking about the way she spoke to him was getting him riled up again. As if she could talk, she was the one living in a mansion her whole life, she probably had maids doing all sorts of stuff for her. And she was complaining over a measly misplaced tub of gel?_

_He had almost thought 'to hell with her,' but his heart tugged remorsefully before he could lower himself to such ill thoughts. Sure, she could be a pain in the ass at times, currently nearly every other day, but she was still Rinoa. He still loved her and longed for her._

_Squall shook his head in disappointment; he didn't want to return to the office. He really just wanted to go back home, eat a nice carbohydrate empowered meal and jump into bed with Rinoa. Not that it would happen. She was pissed at him before, walking out on her definitely would have pissed her off even more._

_He had no option but to return to the office, it was either that or the Training Centre. If he couldn't continue with work, there was always the leather couch he could sleep on. At least until she got over whatever crap was really bothering her._

* * *

><p>It was a bizarrely designed water fountain. Nothing about Balamb Garden indicated water elements or fish. Maybe somewhere along the lines, someone associated Balamb Garden with Balamb itself, which brought on the idea of Balamb's harbour, and then the fish? Maybe that's why whoever designed the water fountain had fish like creatures squirting out water. As insensible as it was, the Commander guessed it was more aesthetics than sense, the design was symmetrical and gave the area surrounding the elevator a nice look. But the fish were just too big. They were almost the same size as a Fastitocalon, just without the angry razor sharp teeth. Those weren't the best sea-creatures to battle, he'd much rather slay through three Fastitocalon-Fs than face the wrath of the larger amphibian. They were amphibians, they had to be. How else did they survive that long without water, well the time it took Squall to kill one off.<p>

But no, the fish definitely wasn't a Fastitocalon, it was too gentle-like, the entire body had scales running through it compared to the Fastitocalon's half scale, half shell. Even the pursed mouth spouting water bore no daggered teeth, and missing was the flailing brawny fins. Maybe it was the famous Balamb Fish, the one Raijin had cooked and fed to the Galbadian soldiers? Man that was some funky smelling fish.

Squall pursed his own lips and let a small sigh out. This is what his lunchtime activity entailed; staring out at the Balamb foyer and spotting every little intricate detail in the architecture. Yesterday he had spent half an hour just following the painted swirls around the SeeD emblem, the day before it was looking up outside at the metal propeller rotating around Garden and timing how long it took for it to make one full circle. Approximately 7.4 seconds.

Turning back to his office table, Squall stared down at his uneaten sandwich brought up from the Cafeteria. He normally didn't mind Cafeteria food; a lot of the meals were pretty good for institutes like Garden. But lunching in his office meant sandwiches and microwavable pasties, something that got quite sickening when eaten two weeks straight. He really felt like a nice piping-hot baked potato with heaps of beans and an unhealthy portion of grated cheese. Maybe even a generous portion of lasagne, or if he was fortunate enough a large Hotdog with plenty of ketchup and mustard. But all those foods were stinky and only permitted to be eaten in the Cafeteria. And that was the last place he wanted to be now. Just being in a nosy, crowded room with one person coming up after another because they were too lazy to read through their mission plan just wasn't worth it.

A knock at his office door broke Squall from his musings. Calling the person in, the Commander looked up to see Irvine and Zell sway into his office.

"Hey Squall," Irvine greeted with a suspicious grin.

"What is it?" Squall didn't bother with formality wanting to jump straight to what the two mischievous buddies were up to.

"Nah we just came to see what you were up to," Zell answered, plopping himself onto the end of Squall's desk and helping himself to the Commander's open bag of potato chips.

"Yeah, we were thinking with you leaving in a couple of days, maybe you might want to come over to mine tonight?" Irvine suggested.

"Yeah, a real boys night in!" Zell enthusiastically cheered.

Squall rolled his eyes at the thought, Zell and Irvine's 'boys night in' would probably consist of some cheap non-alcoholic beer, way too many pizzas that somehow would wind up on the Commander's tab, and at some point Quistis and Selphie showing up to 'talk'.

"No thanks, I think I'll be busy packing." That wasn't entirely true. Squall only had one small side bag to pack. With nothing else to do after work, he had pretty much packed his bags and had them ready two days ago.

"C'mon Squall, the MogMog Moogles vs. the Mach Chocobos second leg, it's going to be epic!" Zell put his hand up for a high five which Squall easily ignored.

"I have too much to do around here than waste my time watching a silly basketball match that is most likely fixed."

"Blasphemy! Mach Chocobos would never do such a thing," Zell retorted.

"That's a low blow Squall, if Selphie heard you say that about one of her home teams she would not be very happy." Irvine folded his arms in mock disappointment.

"Whatever. Is that all?" Squall asked, picking up his files in attempt to look busy. Honestly, he'd much prefer to stare out at the enlarged fish fountain than spend the time watching Zell and Irvine shout commands at the television screen as if they could do any better.

"C'mon Squall! We haven't done anything in a long while. You didn't come fishing with us at Obel Lake last weekend, you can't keep brushing us off like this," Zell pestered not deterred by Squall's lack of eagerness.

"I'm not brushing you guys off. I'm telling you that I don't want to spend time with you." Squall smirked at his obviousness.

"Huh? That's harsh dude," Zell shook his head hurtfully.

Sighing, Squall could only entertain them a while longer until they relented. What was the big deal anyhow? Why were they so adamant on spending time with him all of a sudden? Months ago they were understanding, left the invitation open to him if he wanted to attend. They didn't show any objections or offence when he didn't show to dinner or even join them for Selphie's birthday party in Trabia. Selphie showed more happiness receiving a birthday card with his name on it and honestly said she didn't mind and understood his reasons for not joining them. Of course, he had taken that as an inking that maybe she didn't mind because a certain someone would be showing too. He was curious to know if she did, but had too much pride to ask.

"Squall, you're leaving in three days. Please, just come and spend tonight with us. I promise it'll just be the three of us, two large Dollet Deep Dish and Trabian Supreme pizzas, plenty of onion rings and sour cream dip," Irvine pleaded with a convincing grin, looking intently into the Commander's eyes.

Squall once again sighed, not having the heart to say no to his friends. They really were making an effort, but sadly, he just didn't feel in the mood to try and be sociable.

Tutting to himself, he eventually relented, "Throw in some curly fries and I'm there."

"Yes!"

"Booya!"

"But," the Commander held up a strict index finger, looking at the Sharpshooter and Martial Artist with severity, "either of you put the food on my tab and you'll be paying it back in more ways than imaginable."

Irvine chuckled, feigning innocence, "Like we'd do that to you."

"Didn't stop you the last time," Squall retorted, leaning back on his seat and picking up his near stale sandwich.

"All right, let's go Irvine; we got some planning to do." Zell grabbed the Sharpshooter's clothed arm and began walking towards the door. "We got plenty of drinks to stock up on; tonight is going to be wild!"

Squall rolled his eyes at their retreating backs, almost wanting to scoff at Zell's definition of wild. But deep down, he was glad that his friends hadn't left him to it and pestered him a bit longer. It wasn't something he'd ever admit to since it was beyond embarrassing and narcissistic, but Squall lived a high pressured life and emotionally couldn't jump on the band wagon on the first attempt. He had to be pestered, coaxed and bothered until no end before he felt comfortable enough to accept invites. It was just the way he was; he wasn't confident like Irvine and candidly included himself, tagging along for rides. He wasn't like Zell and Selphie who always seemed to be the life of the party. And while he shared some traits with Quistis, she showed no qualms in accepting invites to birthday parties and weekends away.

The truth was he missed the time he had spent with his friends. After Ultimecia the entire group took a trip down to Esthar that Rinoa had organised. He had gone with them, the entire ride there on the Intercontinental from Balamb to FH, then FH to Esthar was noisy, over energetic and frivolous. But he had enjoyed it. Though he didn't partake in jumping up and down, swaying side to side and singing along to Selphie's train song, Irvine changing the meaning behind it at one point where everyone immediately stopped singing. Selphie wasn't happy that her innocent train song was outrageously interpreted into some phallic symbolism for a good time. Damn Irvine and his sick mind!

When they had arrived in Esthar they booked into a hotel and spent the entire week at the beach and dining at different restaurants. He really had enjoyed that week, a break away from his hectic life at Balamb, the high expectation of being a Commander and for once just being a seventeen-year-old boy out with his friends.

That one trip made him look forward to all the rest Rinoa and Irvine had planned. Visiting Odine's Tower again just for the fun of it, swimming at the beach, even the small gatherings in their dorms passing round snacks and starting a Triple Triad tournament, which he had won hands down, had been exceedingly enjoyable.

But, that was when Rinoa was there; when she was the one to drag him out of his apartment, threatening to tell everyone why he carried such a big gunblade (he knew that Irvine was a bad influence) and he had felt comfortable to comply. She was his pillar, his reasonable excuse for attending social gatherings though as unsociable as he came across. It was easier for people to assume he was dragged to an event because Rinoa pestered him to, than to acknowledge that he truly did relish his friends' company.

Now he just felt like a sore thumb sticking out without her. Instead of having Rinoa make all the plans, and carry out all the conversations, he would be faced with a question he'd take two minutes to decide whether or not he felt comfortable answering. He didn't want to put his friends through that, though they had been kind enough not to mention anything. He knew at times even they felt uncomfortable around him; not knowing what to say or even mention past activities to reminisce. But even during these gatherings, he enjoyed them because he was able to take a secure back seat and watch their antics rather than boldly play along.

Hopefully, tonight wouldn't be like that. Tonight it was just the three boys, some very unhealthy fast food and a basketball match that Squall hoped would be exciting enough not to make leeway for any conversations involving his upcoming time away.

* * *

><p><em>Rinoa picked up the small white envelope, inspecting the name of the addressee and running it through her hands. Taking the mail to the kitchenette she sat down on the small island, running her index finger through the fold of the envelope, she pulled out the letter and began reading under her breath.<em>

"_Dear Mrs R. Leonhart, we regret to inform you that you will not be able to enrol for the upcoming academic year due to receiving your application for the Literature course beyond its deadline."_

_Rinoa kissed her teeth disappointedly, not needing to finishing reading the letter and feeling disheartened that she hadn't managed to get a place. She had been excited about the course, determined to continue and finish off her education. Sitting in Garden twiddling her thumbs everyday had her idle and not knowing what to do with her time. Sure it had been fun five years ago when she was gallivanting around the world with her friends, fighting against evil Sorceresses and fighting against Timber's occupation. But what now? She wasn't a SeeD so she couldn't go on missions, not that she wanted to. Timber was more or less making their way to recovery, a little held back financially but with her father helping in the process of freeing Timber such little effort was needed from her._

_This course, and getting a degree was supposed to broaden her knowledge, expand her career options. What was she supposed to do until the next academic year? It wasn't even like she could do volunteer work at Garden. The library staff couldn't take on any more people, the Cafeteria was just not her cup of tea, and working for Squall just wasn't an option. Already a handful of people thought she was living off scot-free. Well she was, but so were loads of married women._

_Squall. It was his fault. She had said to him many times to fill in her application form, brought it in front of him but he had delayed it so much that she missed the deadline. She knew that when she sent it off, but a part of her remained optimistic, hoping that whosever hand the application landed on would be kind enough to make an exception. Well, it wasn't likely and here she was sitting idle and twiddling her thumbs._

_Getting off the kitchen stool, she placed her dishes in the sink and opened the cupboard underneath it. Taking out a bucket and a couple of rags, she grabbed the disinfectant cleaner and headed towards their bedroom, deciding that she could at least make use of her day cleaning the mess Squall left behind._

"_Argh!" she moaned in annoyance. He really did leave his crap around the apartment. His breakfast dishes were always left in the sink for her, he always left wet towels on the bathroom floor and his crap was always sitting on her dressing table._

_Putting down the bucket on her carpeted floor, Rinoa sorted the cosmetics in order, chucking away used cotton buds and tissues that were obviously used by Squall and left on her dressing table. She picked up his tub of gel to place it back in the bathroom cabinet where it belonged when it slipped from her hands and bounced underneath the bed._

"_Stupid!" she muttered, bending down and trying to feel around for it. It was no use, it was too far to reach. Getting on her knees, she lowered her head underneath the bed and tried to reach for the tub again._

"_Nearly." Using her fingertips, she lightly brushed the round blue circular tub towards her when she thought she heard someone behind her. Surprised she let out a small gasp, her head bumping the bottom of the bed in process and feeling a sharp pain on her scalp._

_Rinoa crawled out from under the bed, fixing her hair and rubbing at the bump on her head before turning to face the intruder. Squall smirked at her before asking, "Having fun?"_

_Fun? If he called not getting into college and having to clean up after his shit for the next year fun, then she was. But she wouldn't play his game, he needed to grow up and stop treating her like his maid. She'd make sure of it this time…_

* * *

><p>Rinoa twirled the circular blue tub of moisturiser around her hand, it was almost identical to the tub of gel <em>he<em> used. There were many things in her house that reminded her of _him_, things which she sometimes felt compelled to buy to attain that feeling of his presence. When she had gone shopping for cutlery the week she moved to Timber she had come across a set of coffee mugs with the tags _'Cool Dude'_ and _'Hot Chick'_ imprinted on them. Shopping for clothes and toiletries amounted to the same number of items she bought when living at Garden; buying extra razor blades, plain black socks as hers always went missing, and even stocking up on extra shampoo.

However, that feeling of living with one another could never be acquired by the simple placing of objects, or recreating a home substituting materialistic possession. While the _'Hot Chick'_ mug was used, the _'Cool Dude'_ was left on the dish rack dusty and unused. The irritation of finding stubble on her razor blades was never resurfaced and thus her blades hardly needed changing. And her frustration of being met with empty shampoo bottles only lasted the few seconds it took her to retrieve another from inside her bathroom cabinet. Such feelings could never be imitated.

Sighing to herself in regret, the sorceress, chucked the blue tub of moisturiser into her open luggage. Only when she had time to reflect on her own actions did the feeling of blame and guilt easily surmount her pride.

Taking her cordless phone off the coffee table, Rinoa dialled in Quistis's number. With just two days before she was set to be in Esthar, the Instructor would be expecting a call.


	5. The Cradle Will Fall

**Author Notes:** I was going to post this chapter some time next week, but my beta sent it back to me quite quickly so I thought I'd have this as my last post of 2011. I can't believe it's coming on to two years that I've been here. (I tend to drop habits/hobbies fairly quickly, so this is one long run). Not much to say except that I'm grateful to everyone who's read and reviewed my stories (all of them) and the support you guys show is really what encourages me to keep going.

I should be able to post the next chapter to this story fairly soon as I have about 90% written. Also, just a heads up, on the 3rd of February I'll be posting my new story _Petal Among Lies _so be sure to check that out.

Hope to see you all in the new year. Enjoy the rest of your holiday :)

* * *

><p><strong>.:~ Chapter 5 – The Cradle Will Fall ~:.<strong>

"_... and that's how I learnt never to trust ex-boyfriends. Though I doubt you'll disagree with me there, Seifer did try and sacrifice you."_

"Need I remind you that Seifer was never my boyfriend." Rinoa used her shoulder to wedge the cordless phone against her ear, using her free hands to tape around the caps of the shampoo bottles and moisturising lotions she was taking on her trip.

"_That's not what you said in G-Garden,"_ Quistis's teased.

"Actually, I said I _thought_ I was in love with him but I didn't know for sure how he felt."

"_Yeah, yeah."_

"Whatever . . ."

There was a brief pause in their hour long conversation. While the two had discussed the main objective of Rinoa's call, somewhere along the cracked phone line, their conversation had digressed to teenage angst and boyfriend bashing. It was therapeutic for Rinoa who felt nauseous thinking about her trip only hours away.

"_Honestly Rin, that slime-ball wasn't worth my time, what little time I did give him. I'm not justifying his actions, or excusing them, but maybe he wouldn't have cheated on me if I hadn't been so consumed with Garden. I guess what I'm trying to say is, give Squall a chance."_

"I am." Rinoa frowned though she knew the Instructor couldn't see. But the tone of her voice said it all.

"_I mean a proper chance. I know some things can't be . . . undone. But I also know that some relationships are meant to last forever."_

She couldn't be upset with the Instructor; she was both of their friend. A part of her always knew the instructor never really blamed Squall for their break-up. Quistis knew Squall had his faults and he had a part in Rinoa's decisions, but he wasn't completely blameworthy for them; as confusing as it was.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence. You haven't been talking to Laguna have you?"

"_No, I haven't. Why?"_ Rinoa could hear humour in her friend's tone.

"He said something along similar lines. You know he asked if I would tell Squall the truth about why I left?"

"_And what did you say?"_

"I said if Squall asks, then I'll tell him."

Another pause in their conversation and Rinoa assumed the Instructor was judging whether that was morally correct or not. She eventually voiced her opinions.

"_Look Rin, please don't be upset by what I'm about to say."_

It was easy not to be upset, but hard not to feel anxious. "Of course not."

"_Sweetheart, this has gone on long enough. He has a right to know."_

"Quistis, I said I'd tell him. But I'm not going to offer the information, how would that make me look?"

"_Big in my eyes."_

"Liar!"

"_I'm serious!"_

Rinoa scoffed, rolling her eyes and sighing to herself. Quistis was right, offering the information would not make her look small. But it was Squall's reaction that scared her. Sure, she thought her reasons were genuine, but her angry decision made in haste would cause her entire world to crumble. Squall would definitely be crushed in the process.

"I promise. I'll tell Squall."

* * *

><p><em>Rinoa walked out of the Timber superstore, tied down with three bags of shopping, and a leash holding on to Angelo, who seemed very excited to return home and try out the new dog biscuits her owner had bought. They say a man's best friend is his dog, though the statement is not always reversed. Angelo's best friend was the financial ability and physical capability her owner possessed to buy the delicious treats.<em>

_The day wasn't looking too rough. A bit of rainy weather during the weekend had the streets cluttered with soggy leaves and the drains somewhat clogged up, that it left a damp odour that clung to Rinoa nose. Not exactly pleasant for a state residing in Galbadia. But working towards independency meant finding the money to pay inhabitants to clean the streets instead of running to Deling City for help._

_It didn't matter too much to Rinoa as the benefit of living in a small town meant commodities were a lot closer. From her home, the dry-cleaners was only two streets down, the train station took her fifteen minutes to walk, and the superstore where she bought her weekly shopping was only a short distance from her house._

_As Rinoa neared a corner, she heard her name being called out from behind her. Frowning, she turned around, inspecting the handful of people walking the streets. The caller sounded quite familiar. Scanning through the small crowd, her eye fell on a smiling face that had Rinoa frowning harder._

"_Hello," Rinoa cautiously greeted the young man in a grey suit._

"_Hey, thought I recognised you. It's me Chris - from enrolment day?" the man stated, pointing to his chest._

_Instantly, the sorceress quickly recollected her memory back to two weeks prior at Timber Community College with the very same man, helping her around the building to pay for her fees, mentioning he was taking the same course._

"_Oh sure, sorry my mind was elsewhere and I couldn't remember where I had seen you. How are you?" she asked politely, feeling slightly embarrassed that she hadn't remembered straight away._

"_I'm fine, just popping off to Dollet for the night to meet a couple of old friends for some drinks," Christopher replied. _

"_Oh sounds fun. I was just doing some shopping." Rinoa looked down at her bags as if to indicate the obvious._

"_Cool, can I offer you a lift?" Christopher brushed a hand through his golden brown hair. He watched in amused awe as Angelo attempted to drag Rinoa towards the next street, astounded that the dog had that much strength over her owner._

"_No I'm fine, I don't live too far," Rinoa struggled to reply, as she involuntarily skipped forward, obligingly following Angelo._

"_You sure? I have my car parked just there," he pointed towards the opposite street, "C'mon."_

_Too preoccupied with Angelo's hastiness to get home, Rinoa allowed him to take the bags out of her hands and grabbed at the dog's leash. Stopping in her stride, she gripped Angelo by the collar and made the dog sit._

"_Seriously, I'm okay. My house is the next street down." _

"_No c'mon, I'll drop you off."_

"_I'm okay, honestly. My house isn't far," Rinoa argued as her cheeks started blushing._

"_Even more of a reason to accept my offer. And I won't ask you to pay me for fuel if that's what you're worrying about." Christopher let out a small laugh, as Rinoa's cheeks went a further shade of red._

_Sighing in defeat, she followed the older man and walked across the street to his car. It felt weird having to wait for stranger to open up the boot of his car, place her shopping in, then fold the passenger seat forward so Angelo could hop in - who unashamedly jumped into the back of the red convertible as if Christopher was an old friend and frequently offered rides._

_Reassembling the seat back to its proper position, he smiled at Rinoa and gestured for her to get in. Smiling gratefully, Rinoa shyly slid in, allowing the man to shut the door for her before buckling her seatbelt. At least she didn't live too far; any awkward silences in the car hopefully wouldn't drag on for too long._

_Christopher started the engine and began driving toward Rinoa's home. It took roughly two minutes before they pulled up outside Rinoa's house, parking up in her driveway._

"_Why don't you give me the keys? I'll get the shopping out and get the door opened while you get your dog out?" He offered._

"_Okay," Rinoa agreed._

_Rummaging in her purse, she retrieved her keys, before handing them over and getting out of the car. Pushing her seat back, Angelo excitedly jumped out, letting out a thankful yelp for the fast ride home._

_The sorceress tried not to act too self-conscious and shy around Christopher, as hard as it was with her nervous habits breaking her exterior. Pushing a strand of hair behind her ears, she waited by his side until he got all three bags of groceries out, before helping him close the boot. Following him toward her house, she stayed behind him, hoping he didn't question what was in her bags. Or if he already had a peek at them, wouldn't judged her on the amount of junk she ate. She had only been in Timber for four months and thus was still grieving; not that he had any knowledge of that. But just how a man's best friend was his dog, a girl's best friend was a very big tub of ice-cream._

_With the door now opened, Rinoa quickly slipped into the house, and shut it behind her. _

"_You can put the shopping in the kitchen." She kicked her shoes off beside her coat rack and removed Angelo's leash. Immediately, the dog ran towards the kitchen, shoving her nose into the bags Christopher left on the laminate floor._

"_Nice house. You live with your parents?" Christopher asked, head up at the ceiling, slowly coming down to get a good look around the passage way, before peeking into the lounge._

"_No," Rinoa answered, shaking her head in lack of understanding._

"_Oh, you share with your friends?"_

"_Nope, just me by myself. Oh, and Angelo." She pointed towards the kitchen where Angelo continued to shove her nose into the bags to retrieve her ever sought out goods. Immediately pulling her finger back, Rinoa sighed._

"_Wow, a big place like this all to yourself?" he asked, clearly impressed._

"_Yeah," Rinoa replied, lightly scratching her arm and not making eye contact. _

_She didn't want to confess to renting out the house in the hopes of her estranged husband coming to reconcile with her. Only for her to act stubborn until he relented and promised to move in with her. No doubt such a reality would sound completely absurd and honestly, quite sad._

"_Erm, so can I get you a coffee? Tea?" Rinoa asked politely, hoping to move the conversation away from any potential enquiry into her living arrangements, and also a gratifying offer for his kindness._

"_Nah, I'm good. I should head out now, it's going to be a long drive to Dollet and my mates will be waiting. I'll see you in a couple of weeks, hopefully?" he asked with a confident and promising smile._

"_Yeah sure." Rinoa moved to one side of the small passage area for him to get passed. "Thanks for the ride," she quickly said as Christopher opened the front door and began to head out._

"_No problem, take care."_

_She waited by the open door, watching as her new friend walked down the gravel footpath to his car. Getting in, he quickly gave a small wave. _

_Though she hadn't known him very long, his kindness to her left her with a feeling of loneliness, emptiness and deeply aware of the severity of her actions. Giving her that attention, aiding her in her endeavours, even though it was just a short car ride from the superstore, meant a great deal to her. It made her painfully realise that there were people in the world who did put her first, who did go out of their way to accommodate her, even in simple matters of carrying her shopping through the door while she handled her overexcited dog. _

_It also made her painfully aware that although she had left Squall, she had also left the many friends she had made at Garden. And in particular one friend who had gone through a huge effort to help her in her own endeavours when trying to woo Squall._

_Since she left Garden and settled in Timber, for the first time Rinoa felt her heart tug for someone other than Squall. As she watched Christopher back out of her driveway, catching the shiny tint of blond in his light brown hair, his warm smile as he cast a quick nod in her direction before shooting down the road, she remembered Zell. _

* * *

><p>With the basketball match over, numerous empty, green, glass bottles, and unwanted pizza crusts with an impending doom of becoming stale, the four SeeDs remained sprawled on the two couches.<p>

Squall had arrived just twenty minutes after the match had started; Zell and Irvine, being too engrossed to open the door, that he was greeted by Nida. At first he had thought it was rather odd that Nida would be invited; his conscience reprimanding him for thinking the night would lead to a heart-to-heart. But that slip of doubt was replaced a fragment of worry. Was he really so unsociable that his friends needed to acquire other friends? Since when had Nida been more than just the guy who worked in the cockpit?

Sadly for Nida, it was only when the pizzas were delivered by one of the security personnel, Squall witnessed just why Nida had been invited. Honestly, if he hadn't had such a long day in the office, he probably would have admonished Zell and Irvine. But hunger took precedence and he quite frankly couldn't care who paid for the food. Honestly, with the pay each of them were earning, it was shallow to be fighting over who forked the pizza bill.

The room was quiet. Too quiet in fact, given that Zell and Irvine were occupying it. But Squall welcomed the silence, it gave him time to think . . .

"Now that's what you call a car! I'm so saving up for that baby!"

Or maybe not. Glancing over to Zell, Squall saw him with a glossy magazine in hand, pointing to a sports make of some kind.

"You say that about every item that sparkles in your eyes. But come payday and you're too busy buying Hootie Mama's Hotdog-maker and all the accessories made for man," Irvine dryly stated.

"Hey, I'll have you know that's the best investment I've made in my life. Six hotdogs in under three minutes, that's a hotdog every thirty seconds!"

"Yeah money well spent."

Squall rolled his eyes, looking at his watch and distinguishing how much longer he'd have to sit before he could socially be excused. This wasn't the sort of heart-to-heart he was expecting, though technically he preferred to have none. The last thing he wanted was for the conversation to digress and Zell and Irvine persuading him to give _her_ a call.

However, as Squall sat on the lumpy sofa, hoping the sound of Nida's nasal breathing would drone out the sound of the two SeeDs bickering, he would soon realise it was a situation that would actually serve a bigger purpose.

"Well better than you Mr. Guns and Roses. Don't see any big numbers on your bank statements," Zell remarked.

"Because I just went and bought this." Irvine walked over to the small desk by the window. He opened the top drawer and took something out.

Making his way back to the couch, he sat down and opened up his palm. A small black velvet box was placed in the middle of his hand, long enough for Squall to register exactly what it was.

Irvine opened the box and turned it around to show the other three men the contents. Nestled in a bed of silken fabric, lay a small white gold wedding ring with a large diamond cluster embedded in the middle.

"Oh Irvine." Zell gasped, his hands making his way to his face as he fanned faked tears. "You shouldn't have."

The other three couldn't help but laugh, but too engrossed by the dazzling band, to make further jokes.

"Is . . . Is that for Selphie?" Nida asked, eyes wide as he leaned forward to get a better look.

"The one and only."

Squall didn't realise he was frowning, but once Irvine's smiling face caught his expression, he mirrored it. He wanted to ask the sharpshooter what the occasion was, but it was pretty obvious. Rings like that spoke volumes. But Squall wasn't satisfied.

"Why?" His voice came out quiet and hoarse.

"Because I love her and want to be with her," Irvine answered honestly. He shrugged his shoulder but kept a thin smile on his face.

"And it has nothing to do with . . .?" Squall faltered in his question, not sure if he was stepping over any lines.

Irvine scratched the back of his neck and lowered his gaze momentarily. He grunted at first, before letting a small chuckle escape.

"Honestly, what happened with that cover-girl scared the hell out of me; I've never seen Selphie so mad. I mean, this is a girl who goes cooing at puppies and chocobos on the street. So to see her want to break every bone on a pregnant girl's body really opened my eyes."

". . . to how psycho your girlfriend is?" Zell asked in perplex.

"No!" Irvine glared at the martial artist. "It opened my eyes to see how much Selphie cares about me, and how much she suffers mentally when I flirt with other girls."

"Mentally. See I was right." Zell looked at the other men for support.

"Ignore him," Squall interjected before another spat between Irvine and Zell could pave way. Honestly, he was interested to see where Irvine was going with his story.

"I always thought my flirting and teasing with other girls was harmless, and honestly it was. I never had any ill intentions towards Selphie. I wanted to be with her and only her. I didn't realise I had acquired a reputation, truthfully, I thought I was still a nobody here."

"Sorry, but I've had that role long before you got here." Nida leaned back, tipping his drinking bottle to his mouth to hide his smirk.

Squall smirked back at him, impressed with how Nida could pull jokes out of his own expense.

"Ha-ha, yeah that's true." Irvine paused, almost thinking to himself before continuing. "When that cover-girl lied about me, everyone saw the red-faced, feet-stomping Selphie march into the Balamb Hotel to confront her boyfriend's 'mistress'. But no one saw the tears and heartache, the grief she went through in her dorm room. Her world was flipped upside down."

"I still can't believe that girl lied about you like that." Nida's shook his head.

"I can. No offence, Irvine. But when you have a reputation for being a ladies' man, it's easy for people to put the blame on you." Squall explained. "Besides, when you're one of the handful who saved the world from near apocalypse, and you work for one of the world's elite mercenary academies, you should expect someone is going to be digging for gold."

"Why do you think she lied?" Nida asked.

"I dunno. Maybe the father is someone she's embarrassed about. When Martine and I contacted her, we did promise not to let the word get out, but she stuck to her story of Irvine being the father."

"So strange." Zell murmured to himself.

"I'll never get why she did what she did, but I'll also never forget the look of relief when Selphie read the results of the paternity tests. Can you believe she actually apologised for doubting me?" Irvine frowned, shaking his head.

"That's Selphie for you," Zell remarked with a smile.

"She shouldn't have been sorry. I wasn't the father to that girl's baby, but I didn't prevent those rumours from starting." Irvine closed the box and got up to put it back in the drawer. "Honestly, that day was the worst and best day of my life. It really opened my eyes to how much losing Selphie scares me."

As the other three men continued on their conversation, Squall listened in silence. Irvine's statements and change in character was refreshing, though that train of thought led him to his own actions.

His stomach churned, a sick feeling producing in his gut. Irvine's ordeal could have just as easily been his. Hindsight was a lovely thing, and he was glad to be sitting in Irvine's lounge nodding his head and agreeing with his revelations, than recoiling away in remorse and regret. That had nearly been him. Nearly.

As he caught Irvine smiling at the closed drawer, Squall smiled at the other SeeD. He was honestly happy about the decision and did think Selphie and the sharpshooter deserved something after the ordeal they faced a few months ago.

The human mind was a strange thing, and often he had questioned why the girl had chosen Irvine of all people to slander. Any normal person would assume the Commander of Garden would have been a better choice. But that was probably part of the believability factor. No one would have believed the girl if she had accused Squall. The flirtatious sharpshooter was the only other option aside from the energetic martial artist.

However, one thing Squall did know was that just how inadvertently the girl paved a way for Irvine to recognise just how important Selphie and his relationship were to him, he also realised that sometimes the fear of losing someone put things into perspective. For the sharpshooter, the idea of losing Selphie had led him to go out and buy a diamond cluster ring that Squall could only think years of savings paid for. But had Squall missed his chance? Or was his chance right now? Could the reconciliation meeting between him and _her_ be an olive branch?

* * *

><p>"<em>Tickets, please." The train conductor placed an open palm out in front of Squall as the Commander rummaged in his pocket and produced a one way ticket to Timber.<em>

_Squall had waited outside the Deling City Train station as the woman behind the counter tapped on her computer screen and produced a boarding ticket for him. He had quickly handed her the money, took the ticket and hurriedly made his way over to the platform, jumping on the train and taking a seat quite breathlessly. A minute or two passed before the hissing of air was heard and the door automatically locked. Another short moment passed before the train left the station and Squall settled his head against the window pane of the train._

_It was getting utterly ridiculous. Four months had passed, not one call, not one email, not even one text message from her at least telling him she was fine. He couldn't believe how stubborn and unwilling she was to go on for so long. She was his bloody wife; didn't she even think about his welfare or at least think how much he'd be worrying about her?_

_It had gone on for too long. Four months without contact was just absurd, stupidly absurd. He'd had enough, sitting in that conference room as the World Council members droned on about maintaining world peace and the amount of responsibility each Garden had to sustain it, just bore him to death. All he did during the meetings was nod his head, look contemplative and blink a couple of times to show he was still conscious. But in reality, his thoughts were elsewhere. _

_Here he was, in Galbadia, the same country his wife was now living in. He couldn't stop thinking about her, just knowing she now only a couple miles away compared to the thousands of miles before. Sitting in Deling City's Pavilion, looking out of the window and recognising the famous Caraway Mansion only added to his suffering. How could he be in the same country and not see her?_

_Telling Martine he'd make his own way back to Garden, he packed his bags, travelled to the train station and caught the earliest train to Timber. The ride was non-stop, an hour and half and he would be there. _

_It wasn't planned, but in some sense, maybe it was premeditated. Going through Quistis's contact book looking for Ellone's new address he had stumbled upon Rinoa's. He knew the road, recognising it as two roads behind Timber Maniacs, near the large superstore that had opened up the year after they had gotten married. It wasn't a big deal, but for many Timber citizens, any job and money investment that would aid its townfolk was always published in an article in Timber Maniacs._

_Squall couldn't help himself, he had quickly scribbled down Rinoa's address, somehow feeling that one day he would need it. One day if she still hadn't returned to him. He was curious; he couldn't lie there. It still buggered him to hell that he was ignorant of her reasons for leaving. Surely it couldn't just be down to spending so much time at Garden and less time prioritising her? She had understood before they officially became a couple that his life was more or less tied down to Garden. That he had responsibilities and expectations as a Commander. She had said she understood and that as his Sorceress, his girlfriend and eventually his wife, she would support him continuously. This was definitely not supportive behaviour._

_If he couldn't get her to come back with him, at least he could find out her reason for leaving. If he was guilty, he would apologise, ask for her forgiveness, and then beg her to come home._

_The hour and half had passed by rather quickly given the nervousness in his gut and his sweaty palms. As the train slowly crept into the Timber platform and jolted to a stop, Squall got up, weak-kneed and dry-mouthed, realising that he was seeing her again after four months. Four solid long horrendous months of agony without her._

_Determinedly, he walked out of the station, looking at the address again and gathering it would take him roughly ten to fifteen minutes to get to her home. With each step he took, his heartbeat would either skip or rise. His gut twisted continuously as a small voice at the back of his head whispered doubts into his mind. She wasn't going to let him in. She would shout at him. She would tell him everything he did wrong. He would have to beg for her to return home. _

_But the bigger voice, the mature, responsible side of him that acknowledge he was her husband settled these doubts. If she wouldn't let him in, he'd wait outside until she did. If she shouted at him, he'd speak to her calmly. If she noted every fault he had that caused her to leave, he would apologise for his errors. He wouldn't beg her to return, he would give her that choice. But as her husband, her Knight, and her lover, he would ask for her to return to him. In fact, just to get her back, to have her in him arms and feel her heart beat against his, he would promise her the world and everything in it._

_The walk wasn't long, but tedious from all the rights and lefts into residential streets and walking past the large superstore with a crowd of people milling at the doorway. Squall kept looking at the piece of paper, cementing the street name into his memory so he didn't pass by it unknowingly. Once he turned onto the second street he looked at the sign and the paper in his hand simultaneously; her house was now only a few doors down. _

_The street was pretty much clear, only a couple of people on the other side of the road, a group of kids up ahead of him playing on the pavement._

_Squall watched as a red convertible drove by him, slowing down up ahead in front of a house and turning in. A tall, blond man got out of the car, twirling what seemed like keys around his fingers as he brushed down his grey suit and walked round the back of his car. But it was the woman who got out of the car, the woman whose raven black hair swayed in the crisp air, the way her red cheeks blushed as she let her shorthaired canine out of the car, that had Squall stumble to a halt._

_He watched as Rinoa took Angelo by her leash, pausing next to the man as he took out what looked like their shopping. He watched as she smiled at him, tucking her hair sweetly behind her ears as she followed him up to the front door. He watched as the man opened the door and Rinoa shortly followed him in, closing the door firmly shut behind her._

_He stood still, dumbfounded and shocked; questioning if what he saw was real, wanting to ask someone to verify it . . . almost as if he didn't want it to be true. It couldn't be true; he didn't just see his wife walk into a house with another man. He didn't just come all the way to Timber only to find out that she had moved on._

_Four months. Four months of worrying about her, cursing himself for allowing her to slip away from his grasp. Cursing and blaming himself for the actions he wasn't aware of that resulted in her absence. He had questioned the sincerity of his feelings, his responsibilities to her as a husband, the rights she had over him, the duties he had towards her. Everything went to hell because of him . . . _

_Now four months made sense. He couldn't go on without her, but he understood why she never sought him out. _

_It was a kick in the gut, a stab in the heart and a prick in the eyes to view such a spectacle. But he wouldn't grieve for her; she had obviously moved on so he doubted her eyes moistened in remembrance of him – if she even remembered him._

_Instead, he turned around, biting his lip and swearing he would not act weak. He wouldn't plead his heart to enquire about the man. So he continued walking back the way he came._

_He let the small voice in the back of his mind easily surmount the mature responsible side of him. Maybe he should listen to that side more often. After all, it was that voice that reminded him that everyone left, no one could be trusted. _

_In the end . . . you're on your own._


	6. The Cookie Crumbles

**Author Notes:** Shameless plug; I've published _Petal Among Lies_. If you like this story, then you might like the other too. It's not angst, but it has some citrus-y-ness to it ;) Please do give it a read and lemme know what you think.

Apologies for the delay. I know last chapter I said I'd update shortly after, but I got weighed down by work and by the time I wrote that 10%, sent it to my beta and got it back, it was already mid February. I hope you enjoy the chapter and don't feel disappointed with where it is going at the moment. I know it's down and out from this point, but things should pick up soon.

* * *

><p><strong>.:~ Chapter 6 – The Cookie Crumbles ~:.<strong>

Rinoa silently stared at her two story house one last time. One whole year she had been living in Timber. A year of loneliness. A year of tears. Would today be the mark of an end or a streak of repetition?

Her insides felt heavy and gut in tangles. Her emotions were almost on the brink of toppling over. What if it all went wrong? How would he react to her reason for leaving?

Closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, she tried to rid her mind of the negative thoughts. She had to be positive; why else had he agreed to the reconciliation? Surely, there was a dim light somewhere that shone in hope. Everyone else believed their relationship was salvageable; if only she could feel the same conviction.

"You ready to go?"

Turning around, Rinoa nodded to Watts, smiling kindly at him as he placed her handheld luggage in the rear of the car. Zone took timid steps towards her, holding out his arms. As she accepted his embrace she allowed herself that dependence and sighed into his chest.

"I'm sorry," Zone whispered into her ear.

She looked up at him in surprise, her frown evidently portraying her confusion.

"About last week, I should have been more supportive," Zone explained.

"It's fine." Rinoa dismissed his comments, smiling widely at him to show there were no hard feelings. It wasn't like she expected Zone of all people to be wild about the commander. The older man had already left him in charge of keeping Rinoa safe once and wasn't entirely happy with the turn of events. It was only natural that when Rinoa showed up to Timber in tears . . . well, Zone's speech wasn't the most eloquent, nor was his vocabulary the most extensive.

"It's not fine, Rin. You guys have been through so much, and though Squall and I don't always get along, I know you both love each other. I really hope you can put this past year behind you and get over whatever issues you have." Zone squeezed Rinoa's shoulder as she stared at him, completely astonished by his confidence.

"Thank you, that means a lot," she softly whispered, tightening their hug.

"All right, I'm ready if you are?" Watts announced as he got into the car.

* * *

><p>As Squall locked his office door and shoved his keys into his pocket, he heard the creak of Martine's door open and someone emerge.<p>

"I'm just heading off now. I've taken all the necessary files I'll need, so if anything does come up, don't hesitate to call or email." He zipped up his jacket, patting his pockets to make sure he was carrying his passport and other accessories.

"Only if you promise to pick up this time," a voice replied, however the tone was far too soft and velvety to belong to Martine.

As his heart skipped a beat and his gut twisted, Squall looked to find a cheeky blonde smirking at him with her painted red lips and dazzling green eyes.

"Brigadier Haize," Squall said, catching his breath.

The blonde winced, biting her bottom lip. "Please don't call me that. I hate that G-Garden still insists on using old titles. Just stick with Michelle."

Squall didn't reply; he remained standing in position with his heart threatening to pound out of his chest, gawking at her instead. The young woman folded her arms, cocked her head to one side, and smiled at him.

"What?" she asked. He could see the amusement in her eyes as the corners creased when she smiled.

"Nothing."

"You're staring at me."

He instantly lowered his gaze, straining all his attention on his shoes. "Sorry."

"Are you?" Michelle continued to tease.

Squall barely managed to process a thought in response before Michelle started taking coy steps closer towards him. With each step she took, he found his throat clogging up and his pulse racing that much faster.

"In all seriousness, I have been waiting for your call." Her eyes scanned his face admiringly. "Given my past experience, I probably shouldn't have. Most guys actually sleep with me before they _forget_ to call the next day. But then again, you're not like most guys." She giggled as the Commander tensed up.

Coughing into his fist, Squall cleared his throat, still avoiding complete eye contact.

"I'm sorry; I got busy with Garden."

From the corner of his eye, he could make out a nod of her head. "I understand," she responded.

They both remained awkwardly silent for a brief while, Squall staring anywhere but at the Brigadier, while the woman's eyes continued to bore into him. Finally she looked down at Squall's suitcase.

"So, where are you off to?"

"Esthar."

Michelle raised a questioning brow. "Mission in Esthar?"

"Er, no." Squall coughed again, swallowing down hard as his throat tightened. ". . . I'm going to meet my wife."

Michelle's brows arched, as her mouth hung slightly ajar. She straightened her back, as she tucked a stray hair behind her ear, and swallowed hard.

"Oh," she eventually murmured, looking down at the carpet as she continuously pushed her bangs aside. "I didn't know you both were . . . back together . . ." She remained still, her hand now resting below her earlobe.

"We're . . . we're trying to sort things out," Squall responded with difficulty, sighing to himself as he shook his head.

He closed his eyes, not wanting to have this conversation, especially not with Michelle. But the silence was dragging on. As his eyes roamed the room, evidently trying his utmost not to look at Michelle's flushed cheeks; he almost expected to see a Behemoth to one corner, whistling quietly while inspecting its claws.

This had to be _the most_ awkward situation he had ever found himself in. Even more embarrassing than the hindsight behind Laguna's attempt at wooing Julia. Scratch that, this was more embarrassing than Dr. Kadowaki commenting that she had never seen him with a girl before. That didn't exactly help dissuade the rumours pertaining to his sexuality. Not that Zell helped either - hugging a guy around his lower waist in gratitude? Really?

Although, he was painfully aware that Michelle found the present situation embarrassing too. But, rather her than him to make cheeky remarks to someone who was on their way to meet their spouse.

With a huff, Squall picked up his suitcase and began to walk past the Brigadier.

"Squall," she called out to him as he reached the glass elevator. He turned back to face her, seeing her bite her lip nervously ". . . All the best."

Surprised by her vouch of support, he merely gave her a nod, before making his way out of the foyer.

* * *

><p>"Rinoa, come right in." Caroline Chambers moved aside and allowed Rinoa to enter the semi-detached house.<p>

"Thank you," Rinoa replied, wheeling in her luggage and leaving it resting against the wall.

"How was your journey?" Caroline asked.

"All right, I just took the express to save time."

"Good good," Caroline replied back with a smile.

The older woman led Rinoa into the through-lounge, informing the sorceress of the house's specification. The house comprised of two double bedrooms, bathroom, kitchen and a utility closet. The through-lounge took up majority of the ground floor space, with a living room to the front and a dining area to the back.

Caroline sat down while Rinoa paced the living room with interest, inspecting the knick-knacks decorating the mantel piece above the fireplace.

"Eric and Mr. Leonhart should be here soon," the lawyer reassured.

Rinoa turned to face the woman, her expression apprehensive and scared, "Caroline, do you think this whole set-up will actually work? I mean, how is living together going to sort out our relationship? We lived in Garden for four years."

"I'll explain everything once the boys get here, but you aren't going to be left completely by yourself. Eric and I are always a phone call away. We'll attend your sessions with a martial counsellor once a week, and be of any help with the tasks you're to complete during your stay here."

"Tasks?" Rinoa asked.

"I will explain everything, dear."

Nodding her head, Rinoa plopped herself on the sofa opposite her lawyer. She took deep breaths, trying to calm herself. Throughout her journey she had the jitters, her knees felt like jelly and her palms kept sweating, resulting in her constantly wiping them against the fabric of her jeans. Who knew seeing him after a whole year would make her this nervous?

Taking the express train had served two purposes. The first was in relation to her nerves, hoping that the shorter the journey, the less time she'd have be nervous about the situation. The second reason was more to force away any ideas of turning back.

Boy, had she wanted to run again. Just turn around and go back into the comfort and confines of her home, pretending that she was happy with the way her life had turned out. It was easier than the thoughts that filled her mind; the negative and insecure thoughts that her relationship with him was forever doomed.

"I think that's Eric," Caroline's voice pulled Rinoa out of her reverie.

Rinoa instantly felt her body heat rise. Her breath caught in her throat as her nerves began to increase and her stomach felt like it was twisting into a series of knots. She felt sick with fear and anticipation, knowing that he was here. He was outside and he could walk in at any given moment.

A year. One whole long year had been a companion to their distance. It was a year of torture, a year of depression, a year of heartache. And now she would be confronted with the man who was the cause for it all.

But, she too was a cause; a cause of every feeling he had felt. For every sleepless night she had undergone, presumably he had likewise endured. Every questioning thought that crossed his mind, every moment where he doubted her love, every second he waited for her return, would all be confronted in that moment.

Her heartbeat quickened as Caroline stood up, her body following pursuit without a thought. Her chest rose rapidly, forcing her to breathe through her nose to stabilise herself. To mask her nervousness in front of the other woman.

She heard the door unlock; a sound that normally would go unnoticed, or even unheard, was deafening in the silence of the house. The only other thing Rinoa could hear was the booming of her own heartbeat in the tight confines of her chest. Then she heard the sound of a male voice.

She wilfully moved her gaze to the threshold of the door. The anticipation of seeing him again seemed to outweigh her nerves. She saw legs first, covered in grey material and thick black shoes. Her eyes travelled further up as she met with a grey blazer and the whitest of shirts, before finally she travelled higher to meet with greyish blond hair and spectacles. The face was a stark contrast to what she remembered or even what she expected.

Her heart momentarily relaxed as she realised it was none other than the lawyer, who warmly smiled at her and nodded. Turning the sides of her mouth up, she smiled back, trying in vain to make it as heartfelt and welcoming as she could.

Behind the lawyer she caught a glimpse of brown. Her eyes instantly darting to the all too familiar shades of brunet that she had spent many times running through her fingers; feeling every silky strand and revelling its softness.

This time her sight descended, meeting him directly in the eyes as he looked back at her. His once steel-blue orbs that were filled with happiness and laugher had returned to sorrowful shells. It hurt to see what her actions had done to such beauty. The very eyes that she had caught in a ballroom five years ago were now staring back at her, empty and emotionless.

She wanted to say sorry, though a quieter voice in the back of her mind reminded her that she had nothing to apologise for. But her heart shouted it out as loud as it possibly could. The one part of her that only thought through one avenue, only possessed one emotion and only wanted one thing. Her heart felt the grief her mind refused to succumb, and right now it was the dominant.

Rinoa opened her mouth; forcing herself to speak, but the only thing that came out was a pathetic, "Hi."

* * *

><p>Eric wasted no time in jumping out of the driver's side, as Squall reluctantly disassembled his belt. Unlocking the door, Squall slid out of his seat, and straightened his clothes from the long ride from the Esthar Airstation. It hadn't been a long flight; Laguna had been kind enough to send the Ragnarok, kinder by sending it with just one aide and minus himself. Squall had travelled three hours, meeting Eric at the Airstation and then almost an hour to get to where he stood now.<p>

Squall looked up at the house, a two story semi-detached house in the middle of a residential street. It wasn't entirely big, but spacious enough from the outside. He walked to the back of the car, taking his luggage out of the boot and waited for Eric to close it.

"The girls should already be in there," Eric said, walking up to the door and inserting a key.

Squall could sense the hesitation he felt on the ride to Esthar resurface. Though it had been a year since she had left, it somehow felt longer. It was almost an eternity for him to be without her for so long, and in the few seconds it took for Eric to open the door, he felt like years were passing him by.

He was hurt. He was angry; he was feeling nervous and insecure. But there was just that part of him he tried in vain to drown out; to burn away but couldn't. It was neither a big nor small part. All he knew was that it was a part of his every day need, like breathing, eating, and sleeping. He had a need for her, to see her, to feel her. A year on and that fraction of him that had been thirsting for her was finally emerging, as if sensing she was near, calling out to her in desperation.

Eric managed to get the door unlocked, making some comment under his breath while walking in. Squall followed him, teasing that piece of him by lingering at the door and taking his time to slowly shut it.

The lawyer had gone on without him, and Squall found himself at all odds. He stood near the front door, breathing in calm confident breaths; reassuring his mind that he could do it. That he could see her again, and not be fooled a second time into letting his heart take over. She had hurt him, and he wasn't going to let a two month vacation be a second hit.

Finally braving himself, he walked on over to where Eric stood, standing just behind him and turning to stare into the living room. His eyes met hers instantly, the chocolate orbs that he once spent hours and hours staring into. The same eyes that had allured him onto a dance floor five years ago, tripping repeatedly and embarrassing himself, but staying for the desire to look into those eyes.

His heart flipped, it was all he wanted to do but stare into her eyes for another moment – a timeless moment. But now his mind was the stronger of the two, and he remembered those eyes looking at him with disappointment, before turning away and walking out of his life.

He didn't want those eyes.

As he turned his sight away, forcing himself not to look at any other part of her body, he heard her voice and it almost broke his already fragile heart.

"Hi."

It wasn't much. Two letters, one syllable really. But it meant so much more. Just hearing her voice again sent shivers down Squall's spine; her velvety voice echoed in his ears, momentarily causing him to shut his eyes in some morbid pleasure. He felt sickened that he could spend half a year hating her, yet all it took was a second for his feelings to resurface.

Not replying, not looking at her, not even acting bothered, the Commander followed his lawyer in to the room and placed his bags down. He stood in place, noticing a young blonde woman standing next to Rinoa, watching him with keen interest.

"Hello," the woman kindly welcomed with a nod of her head.

Squall merely nodded back, showing he was aware of her presence. But he couldn't for the sake of him show his awareness to _her_. He couldn't make himself look at her as much as his heart was screaming at him to just glance once more.

"Why don't we all take a seat and Carol and I will explain the procedures?" Eric gestured to the cream leather sofas on either side of the wall.

Rinoa helplessly returned to her seat, wondering if she had made the right decision. Caroline and Eric had taken a seat next to each other and the space between them was hardly any room for another.

She panicked, did she unintentionally make things difficult for Squall? Did her choice of seating seem as if she was already pressuring him? Would he think her actions were a way for them to be physically near each other?

Squall had no choice in the matter. It was clear that the only available seat left was on the couch next to Rinoa. But he wasn't going to give in that easily no matter how strong his desires were. Looking around the room he noticed the through-lounge had a dining table and chair set. Striding up to it, Squall pulled one of the brown wooden chairs and carried it over to the seating area. Placing the chair in the middle of both couches, the commander lowered himself and turned his body to face the lawyers.

Yeah, it was a bit pathetic and childish not wanting to sit next to her, but he had his reasons and they sufficed him enough.

Rinoa relaxed slightly at his actions. Though a part of her knew it was done so he didn't have to sit next to her, it was some relief to her that she didn't need to stress about being in such close proximity.

"Right, well first is first. You're both to spend two months here; there will be a marital counsellor who will be talking to you both three times a week. They normally will set tasks which you will write down on these." Eric held up two notebooks. "They are journals for you to record your feelings and the progression of your tasks . . ."

The two lawyers spent the next half an hour discussing all the procedures, the rules and expectations. In that time both Sorceress and Knight realised that their vacation together would be harder than what they had imagined. There were practical sessions, tasks that involved them working together, acting like a couple again. They would be expected to sit through sessions where they would have to talk about their feelings, where they thought the marriage was failing, and most importantly, why they were where they are now.

But nothing shocked either as much as what Caroline just uttered, "Although there are two bedrooms, only one has a bed, so . . ."

Squall groaned internally, making sure not to outwardly express any emotion, though that was soon to naught as a sigh escaped his mouth. He rolled his eyes at himself, though both lawyers had interpreted it to what Caroline had just said.

Rinoa on the other hand, sat in shock. She was expected to share a bed with Squall? She hadn't shared a bed with anyone since she had left Garden a year ago. Now she was supposed to crawl into one with him again? How much more could she take?

"Well, we'll be off then. You both can wander around the house; the counsellor should be here tomorrow, but she'll give you a call this evening." Eric got off the sofa and began making his way to the door as Caroline soon followed.

"There is a notepad on the dining table; it has all our numbers on it, so don't hesitate to call if need be." The woman smiled at them both, smiled longer at Rinoa as if to say 'hang in there'.

Both Rinoa and Squall stood in the quiet living room, paying great attention to the lawyers leaving the room, walking down the short distance to the door and finally closing it behind them. It was all they could do but die down their desire to run after them and plead for them to take them back, anything but go through this strange ordeal. What the hell was with Esthar and its weird divorce system?

Rinoa found herself playing with her fingers, having no other form of exercising her nervous habits. She dared not to look at him, keeping her eyes focused on her black leather boots.

Squall stood standing idly in the middle of the living room, unsure whether or not he should have at least given her a reply. It would be silly if he did so now; talk about time lapse.

"Erm . . ." Rinoa struggled to find something to say.

The silence was dragging on far too long; it was going beyond ridiculous that they hadn't said a word to each other since he entered. And they were married for three years?

But he couldn't; he just couldn't walk into some house in the middle of Esthar and pretend as if the last year hadn't happened. He couldn't fathom why she had decided to leave him. Why she hadn't called him in all that time. Why she had filed for divorce, and now expected him to play along with such absurd antics.

He begrudgingly walked over to the couch Caroline had been sitting on and sat down, stretching his body to pick up the remote control, and switched the TV on. He wasn't normally one to indulge in such privileges, but it was the only source of freedom away from her.

Rinoa stood gawking at him, wondering if she should say anything. Wondering if she should even remain in the room, he hadn't said a single word to her and technically she had already said two.

Braving herself, she opened her mouth again and spoke, "Squall…" his name sounded alien to her. It had been so long since she had uttered his name. Sure, she had said it to Zone and Watts here and there, she had used it when asking Quistis about his welfare. But to call out to him? It was like a drug for her and she needed more.

Clearing her throat, she spoke louder to get his attention.

"Squall, shouldn't we-"

"What?"

She didn't expect that to be his first word to her. Maybe if it was followed with an 'ever' it would have made sense, but a question? It was so curt and laced with annoyance. What scared her was the look he finally cast at her. Though he tried to feign emotionless, she could see he was hiding a scowl.

"I thought . . ." She couldn't finish her sentence. She didn't know what she thought. She didn't know what they were supposed to do. But she knew it wasn't for him to sit down in front of the TV watching _Chocobos Do The Funniest Things_.

"Let's get one thing straight; I don't want to be here, but I have to be if this divorce is to go through. So I'll stake out the two months a best as I can and after that you can go back to your life as I will mine." His words were so frank, so to the point and completely without care.

Rinoa stared at him shocked and dumbfounded. Everything she had feared, every doubt that infested her mind about Squall only showing up to get things over and done with were proven true in that one sentence. It was a harsh slap on the face. Even after a year, even after going to such lengths, Squall Leonhart was repeating the same mistakes.

In that moment, Rinoa realised that no matter what she did, no matter how severe her actions were, and no matter how many nights she lay crying over him, she still wouldn't getting a reaction from him. Squall would never chase after her.


	7. With Hardship is Ease

**.:~ Chapter 7 – With Hardship is Ease ~:.  
><strong>

Rinoa paced the bedroom, shoving handfuls of clothes into drawers and slamming them shut. Toiletries were chucked near the entrance to the en-suite rather carelessly and cosmetics were sprawled across the dressing table. This method of unpacking and sorting was not the way one of Galbadian aristocracy was taught, but there was very little Rinoa could do to suppress her fury.

'_Give him a chance', 'Do your best', 'Put in your all – it doesn't have to be the end'_. Conversation after conversation with practically everyone giving their two gils. But did anyone share the same opinions with Squall? If they had, he sure wasn't taking heed.

Rinoa had a good mind and whack him over the head with the hairdryer she was presently searching temporary accommodation for, her feelings from three years prior resurfacing, but that was hardly going to help matters. Besides, who knew how much Squall had changed since; she didn't fear him hitting her back, or throwing a shoe to her head, she feared he'd get off the sofa and walk out on her forever.

That feeling watered down her frustration and she was left numbly swaying in her room. Would their entire stay be this awkward and discomforting? Would she and Squall have to butt heads and eventually come to terms with the reality of their relationship – a dead-end in a maze where there was no turning back – well, not unless you went back time, but that was still too soon for humour.

The phone rang downstairs. Rinoa could hear Squall pick up the receiver. He muffled something before there was a long pause. She placed the hairdryer on the bed when she heard hurried footsteps.

Within a few seconds, Squall was at the threshold of the bedroom door. He quickly glanced around the room and Rinoa's new unpacking skills, his face contorting to one of confusion. But the commander shook away his thoughts and spoken into the receiver.

"Okay, Kristin, you're on loudspeaker.'

"_Aha! Okay, now, we may begin. Just to double check, Rinoa is there?"_ a female voice asked through the receiver.

"Yes," Squall grunted.

There was another pause as the two looked at each other questioningly. Squall nodded to Rinoa who quickly cleared her throat.

"Hi."

"_Oh, hello! I'm Kris – your counsellor. I've just told your husband that I can't make it today, but I've already made arrangements for your first assignment."_

Rinoa glanced at Squall. The word husband hadn't been used in their presence in so long; it was almost painful to hear.

"_So, where are you both exactly?"_ Kristin asked.

"In one of the bedrooms. I'm not sure if each has an en-suite, but the one we're in does," Rinoa clarified.

"_Nope, they don't all have en-suites. Rinoa, you're in the master bedroom. There are two bedrooms and a bathroom. You'll notice the room you're in has its bed already made. The housekeepers were there earlier today, however, due to shortage of time they couldn't make the other. So, for your first challenge, you'll have to work together to make the second bed."_

"That's our challenge?" Squall asked brazenly. He couldn't believe the sheer silliness of it. Where did Eric get this counsellor? She couldn't make it to their first meeting, and then to top it off, she was assigning bed-making as a method to fix their marriage? It was beyond ridiculous, and Squall, quite frankly, was starting to rethink his commitment to the program.

"_Yes, but, you must to do it together. Trust me; you'll need each other's help."_

There was a click on the other end of the phone. Squall kissed his teeth and sat on the bed beside Rinoa's belongings.

"For God's sake . . ." he mumbled under his breath.

Rinoa stood awkwardly at first, suddenly realising this was the first time in many years she and Squall were alone in a bedroom. Why was it her mind trailed to these thoughts when a minute ago she was mentally hammering him over the head? She doubted Squall even thought anything in the faintest way romantic about her. Her feelings felt rather fickle; she claimed he drove her away, but here she was overjoyed that he was at least making the effort.

Deep down, Rinoa knew she wanted this. She wanted reconciliation and she wanted to explain why she had left. If he didn't understand, she'd deal with it – of course it would hurt – but she'd hopefully learn to cope. And if he did understand, then they could work on a way to mend their broken marriage. She hoped for the latter.

Rinoa's eyes drifted to her open luggage where her A5-sized notepad stuck out. She quickly removed it from her bag, along with other items, and began placing them around the room.

"Erm, so you want to get started on the other room? It'll be sunset in a couple hours and you'll need somewhere to sleep . . ." she trailed off as she wedged the notepad into her purse without Squall noticing.

Squall didn't say anything. He got off the bed morosely and dragged his feet to the other room. Rinoa chucked her purse beside the pine bedside draw and took a deep breath.

"Oh, you've got to be kidding me!"

Worried, the sorceress made her way to the threshold of the second room where Squall stood with his fists balled tightly beside him. She scanned the room and immediately noticed what Squall was crying over. In the middle of the room, where the bed should have been, lay planks of wood and several brackets and bolts.

Rinoa unsuccessfully muffled a giggle. "Well, Kristin did say the bed was _unmade_."

Squall glared at her from the corner of his eye. He scratched his head and sighed. "C'mon."

Rinoa followed him further into the room and stood awaiting his orders. Squall, on the other hand, was busy lifting every plank and bracket, and opening every draw he could find.

"What are you searching for?"

"The instructions."

"Oh." Rinoa looked around the room but couldn't see any papers lying around. "There doesn't seem to be any."

"I found it." Squall waved a piece of paper at her. He unfolded it and scanned the contents, his forehead creasing as he narrowed his eyes. "Seriously, is this a joke? It's all in some different language."

"Let me look," Rinoa held her hand out and Squall passed the paper. The commander ran his hand over his face, squeezing the bridge of his nose. Rinoa looked at the wording but it was unfamiliar to her eyes. "I don't know what language this is."

"I should just sleep on the sofa." His comment wasn't an invitation to a conversation; it was Squall's way of thinking out loud. Nevertheless, Rinoa felt obliged to respond.

"For two months? You'll damage your back. C'mon, let's at least try to figure this out." Rinoa bent down to a sitting position. From the corner of her eye, she looked at Squall, waiting for him to show some sign of cooperation.

The commander was staring at the mini construction site, both hands balled together and pressed to his lips. He hadn't seemed to make any moves.

"S-Squall?" Rinoa called out to him but received not even a murmur of recognition. "Okay," she muttered and reached over to pick up one of the wooden planks.

"Hold on – wait!" Squall held out a hand and Rinoa immediately froze. After more seconds of silence, Squall sat down and began clipping the brackets to the wooden planks.

Rinoa carefully observed the method he used and began doing the same. Soon the planks had all been bracketed and there remained the four wooden bedposts.

"You see the picture on the instruction manual?" Squall pointed for Rinoa's observation. "That's what the frame needs to look like. So these brackets need to connect to these pillars, and then connect to the posts. There should be a bag of bolts and hex key somewhere." Squall instructed Rinoa, who jumped to rummage through their mess. Once she had found the bag, she brought it to Squall.

"Here, you hold the bracket tightly and I'll screw." Rinoa nodded, hiding a smirk, certain that Squall would not share the humour.

Who knew seeing him after a year would make her feel seventeen again. Back then, things were so simple; they were honest with each other and confided in nearly everything – sometimes a bit too much, and sometimes things which should have remained private, at least that's what Squall told her any time she'd feel the need to converse about her monthly cycles.

But she wasn't seventeen. Long gone were the days of giggling over euphemistic puns and dirty magazine choices. Now, she sat meters away from her estranged husband, making awkward attempts to salvage what was left of their marriage. There was no doubt Squall was merely there to get things over and done with.

Rinoa couldn't help but let a sigh escape. Could she really blame him? Maybe Quistis was right; Squall couldn't be held accountable for something he had no knowledge about. But that begged her prior rebuttal; where was he? Why hadn't he taken an interest in her well-being? Why was it always her doing the legwork to maintain their relationship? He had become complacent; a well-paid job, a wife, and friends that lived close by. With such little responsibilities at home, he could, and willingly did, dedicate majority of his time to Garden.

Yet, Rinoa's mind was currently at a standoff; it was mentally straining. She blamed him for her departure from Balamb, and that was further fuelled by his lack of attempt to get her to come back. He didn't care about her at all. But, neither did her actions cite care for him. By the end of her tether, she couldn't decide whether she loved or hated him, whether she wanted to be right next to him or as far away as possible, or whether she was mad at him or mad at herself. Heck, at times, she wasn't sure if she wanted to hug him or strangle him.

The nearly complete bed frame mimicked her love-life: imperfect and in need of serious mending. With a little hard work and motivation, maybe it could work. Although, getting Squall to put in the effort would be a challenge. And right now, he was more concentrated on finishing the task than making any form of conversation with her.

Squall stood with a thin smile on his face. It hadn't taken long once he figured out the construction from the picture. Now, all he needed to do was place the mattress on top of the planks and it would just about be ready.

He spun around the room but couldn't see the mattress anywhere.

"What are you looking for now?" Rinoa asked, still seated on the floor.

"The mattress," Squall's mumbled.

Rinoa arched her head behind her to look around. The room was much smaller than the one she had picked for herself; a boxed room with a chest of draws, a wardrobe, and a rectangular shaped window. A mattress would have taken up half the space.

"Maybe they left it downstairs."

Squall grunted and turned for the door. Rinoa quickly followed him, feeling a slight sense of guilt for taking the made-up room, not that she had done it intentionally. This "vacation" was seemingly turning out to be a pain for Squall, and she assumed it wouldn't take much for him to grab his belongings and book the next flight back to Balamb. She couldn't let that happen.

The bottom half of the house wasn't any bigger than the top. The through lounge, kitchen, water closet and garden showed no sign of bedding anywhere. The garage was pretty much near empty except for a can of petrol and a hose. There was no mattress.

Squall slumped on the kitchen table. A waste of an hour making a bed that proved useless in the end, it looked like he would be sleeping on the sofa after all.

He watched as Rinoa filled a tumbler of water and took several sips. He could make out the motions of her trachea and steady breathing. Her left hand gripped the kitchen sink as she stood over it.

A year hadn't really changed much. She didn't look any different, other than the length of her hair being almost down to her tailbone, and her manners seemed to remain the same. He knew she struggled to make conversation upstairs, just like he struggled not to demand her reasons for leaving. He would leave that up for her to disclose, he wasn't one to beg for answers.

He was hurt, and even more so that _she_ had left him but, expected to walk back into his life as if the past year hadn't happened. She confused him. Why on earth was she making an effort for a relationship _she_ had abandoned? What had changed over the course of their separation? Did she not like it in Timber? Was money an issue? Was it not comfortable living alone? And what happened to the blond she was living with? Had Rinoa had her fun and realised maybe, in the long-term, it was safer being with boring, old Squall.

Countless questions filled his mind, questions that would likely remain unanswered. It was the story of his life; people came and went, no one stuck around. Ellone didn't, so he didn't know why he even counted on Rinoa. The worst thing about this situation, however, was that Rinoa knew his fear of commitment, and she played with it. She took a vow yet, broke it.

"Um, looks like we don't have any food either." Rinoa pointed to an empty fridge.

Squall shrugged his shoulders. "I'm not sure where the nearest store is, and by the time I find it on foot, I doubt it'll be open. We're better off ordering something for tonight."

Rinoa nodded and picked up the cordless receiver. She handed it to Squall who called the operator.

"Hi, could you put me through to the nearest pizza delivery. We've just moved in so I'm not sure what our postcode is." After a couple minutes, Squall ordered the food and the two sat in the kitchen silently. Rinoa sat on a stool near the sink and Squall sat with his head in his hands, feeling as though a migraine was inevitable.

The silence was eerily long with only the ticking of the kitchen clock to accompany their thoughts. No other situation in their lives could describe awkward as precisely as the one they were in currently. It was beyond uncomfortable, palpable, and downright frustrating. Who on earth would believe these two were married a little over a year ago.

The sound of the doorbell was relief to their ears as both jumped to answer it, eager and hungry for company, anything to distil the tense atmosphere. Squall had managed to get to the door before Rinoa, who somehow managed to wind her legs around the stool and had nearly fallen over.

Only Squall's hope of ease was short-lived; he wasn't sociable naturally, and the delivery man seemed to have no interest in anything other than picking up his payment (and tip).

As if it couldn't get any more awkward, now Rinoa felt obliged to sit opposite her estranged husband and eat. She had a serial of thoughts about whether she should excuse herself and take her food to the lounge, upstairs, even to the garden and give him some space. She felt she owed him that, funnily enough, without knowing why she was feeling apologetic. Yes, she wanted this "vacation" to restore their marriage, but Squall had to give the same level of determine. He had to prove to her that he wanted to be in this marriage.

With a shake of her head, Rinoa sat down opposite the chair Squall had been sitting on earlier. Squall slid a plate towards her and she thanked him quietly. She watched as Squall placed half the pizza on his plate and picked up a tumbler of water.

"I'm gonna eat in the other room," he muttered, and then left without waiting for a response.

Rinoa's heart sunk. While she was willing to eat elsewhere so he could have some space, she was also very keen on being in his presence. He was like a drug she couldn't resist. She hadn't expected him to leave; she wanted him to crave her company the way she craved his.

"It's gonna take time," Rinoa whispered to herself.

Remaining seated in the kitchen, she listened to the sound of the television set while finishing her dinner alone.

* * *

><p>Rinoa hesitated by the lounge door, mentally cheering herself to walk in and speak to Squall. It wasn't a big deal, even if didn't respond, it was her way of making sure she was giving her two hundred and fifty-five percent in this reconciliation. Besides, this first day wasn't so fair on Squall; the least she felt obliged to do was bring down some bedding for him. It's not like she could offer him anything else – like joining her in the master bedroom. Or, could she?<p>

The laughter from the TV set broke her concentration. Rinoa shook her thoughts away and, as gracefully as she could, stepped into the lounge.

Squall lay on his side on the long sofa, his head resting on the armrest.

"Squall," Rinoa called to him.

He turned to face her, his forehead creased and his eyes droopy. He turned the television off and chucked the remote control onto the coffee table.

"I-I brought you some pillows and a blanket." Rinoa handed the bedding to Squall who seemed to mutter some form of appreciation. She watched as he fluffed the pillows and wrapped himself around the blanket. Then he lay lifeless.

As Rinoa walked back to the door, she heard him mutter.

"Yes?" she replied, trying not to take to heart his blatant refusal to address her by name.

"You can turn off the light."

The sorceress took that as her cue to leave, slightly disappointed that their first night together wasn't very eventful. Even their first night in Timber together, when they had stayed with the Chief of Forest Fox, was more action-filled; arguing and spouting mean words to each other. Okay, it was actually she that called him a "meany", and he had apologised once he realised she had taken offense towards his lack of respect towards Seifer's life.

However, that memory revealed a lot more about their previous differing viewpoints. Rinoa was always optimistic, going beyond the limits to ensure her decisions had a positive outcome. Her actions, nearly all the time, were based on emotional attachment.

Squall, on the other hand, would always act reasonably and practically, almost never emotionally. Even his attitude to Seifer's presumed death that night was apathetic and bereft of any emotion, considering he spent his entire childhood with the misfit. Of course, that had somewhat changed the longer they were in each other's company; Squall occasionally did act out of emotions, and she held back to reconsider her actions.

The situation at present was like taking a step back before their progression. Rinoa was eager and felt emotionally compelled to ensure his stay was comfortable and beneficial in order to sustain their marriage. But, Squall wasn't contributing any more to ensure her time in Esthar was productive. He had objectives and tasks, and as long as he completed and met them, the resulting factor seemed to mean nothing to him. At least, that's what Rinoa thought.

His words now rang in her ears: _As long as you don't get your hopes up, you can take anything . . . You feel less pain._

Maybe that was true. Maybe, if Rinoa acted without hoping for a personal gain, if he decided by the end of their stay that their relationship was beyond reconciliation, it wouldn't hurt as much. She would be able to return to Timber with a healthy mindset, and accept that her life with Squall was just not meant to be.

Nevertheless, she couldn't help but feel that Squall's words were more of a defence mechanism. Maybe, just maybe, if once in a while Squall did get his hopes up, the results of his actions would prove to be more fruitful.

* * *

><p><strong>Author Notes:<strong> So, let's just forget that this story hasn't be updated in two and half years, and just nod our heads at the promise of more updates (yeah, sure!).

Ugh, I feel like I'm a broken record, but I honestly am sorry for anyone who is still reading my stories (is anyone actually still reading?) and hoping for an update. It seems I suck at keeping promises, or evening meeting my own deadlines. I rarely use my laptop now, and due to that, I rarely seem to be bothered to write. I've had this chapter sitting incomplete for months, but I've not had the motivation to finish it (partly because I'm not even sure if anyone reads this, partly because my husband still hasn't bought me a desk and that puts me off writing).

Don't be alarmed, even if updates are every 2.5 years, I will (probably) get this story completed. I'm hoping it can be like my earlier AUs and finish around the 14th chapter mark. I wish I could write more, but it seems that life always has something or other getting in the way of writing.

Thanks to anyone who is still reading and reviewing. This one goes out to you! ;)

P.s. I am currently looking for a beta-reader for this story as my previous one is no longer in action. If you feel up for the challenge, have good knowledge of English grammar, and have extensive knowledge of the game, please let me know via email (address in bio) or Private Message.


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